A Heart Can Be Broken
by LovingTouchingSqueezing
Summary: It's been seven years since Blaine left for the military and he hasn't been home since. When he finally comes back, he does so to find that Kurt has already moved on with no other than Sebastian Smythe. Klaine / Kurtbastian
1. Leaving

**A/N: ahh guys this is my first story and ahh *hides*  
My first language is not English so I apologize in advance for any errors I made :)**

It's been seven years since Blaine left.

Everyone assumed he would have ended up on those huge billboard posters in Broadway, advertising yet another successful play of his. Blaine had always such a passion for performing; it was difficult imagining him anywhere else but a stage. Since the age of about three – when he'd just learned to walk properly without falling constantly – he'd loved performing – always excited to show everyone a new song he'd learned (which most of them were from Disney movies), or a new dance move (provably taught to him by his big brother, Cooper).

To say the least, it was surprising for everyone when he decided he didn't want to follow a career singing, but chose he wanted to be a soldier. Numerous people – he'd lost count – tried to convince him not to, but he wasn't convinced. He stood up for what he wanted, and didn't let all those people bring him down.

Of course that was until he talked to Kurt. A lot of crying was involved. Yells and whispers, sadness and anger. _Kurt, this is what I want. What I have to do._ After three very long hours of yes-and-no, and many, many tears (although no matter how many, there always seemed to be more coming again and again) Kurt gave up and accepted the fact that Blaine wanted to do this.

Truth is Blaine felt he had to prove himself. _Kurt, I have to prove that I'm stronger than what people think. I want to prove my father that he was wrong, as stubborn as that sounds. I have to do it. _Somewhere deep down inside, Kurt understood, although he tried with all his might to deny it.

The day before Blaine had to go, both him and Kurt spent all day together. They went to Dalton so Blaine could say goodbye to the Warblers (which of course led to them singing a song to Blaine and again, lots of tears were shed). They went to the stairs where it all started – it's amazing how some places simply never change. They left and went to the park, where they set up a picnic, ate, and then lied on the grass to watch the clouds, Kurt pressed to the back of Blaine, and leaning on a tree. After that, they went for ice-cream and simply walked, hand in hand, laughing and talking. Then followed the fair. The sun was setting down as they rode the Ferris wheel and stopped at the top. It was beautiful; unrealistic. _I love you, Kurt_ – _**I love you, too**_. A kiss. A look. A smile. And then they were being lowered down again, brought to reality. They walked with their hand linked to the parking lot, and once again held hands inside the car. They spent the night at Blaine's house – there was no way they were sleeping separately the night before they parted.

When the sun started to rise, its rays filtering through the curtain, waking up both boys, they stirred and looked at each other, not saying anything for a while. Another kiss. They both got up and dressed and went downstairs, Blaine carried his duffle bad he packed a few days ago. Breakfast was silent – but not the uncomfortable silence – and then the clock strikes seven and Blaine has to go. Another kiss – way longer this time. More tears. They hold hands the whole time. Another kiss – a last kiss. A look. And Blaine goes to his car, carrying his bag and tossing it in the back seat. A last longing glance at Kurt, who is crying again, standing at the door, with his right hand clenching his stomach, his other elbow resting in top of this one, and his left hand closed over the fabric of his shirt, covering his mouth; and Blaine gets in the driver's seat, and after a couple of seconds hesitation, he starts the engine and drives away.

They make it the two years Blaine is in the military, seeing very little of each other, living the few days they have together at the fullest. Until Blaine finally get sent to war.

They talk via radio, and send letters. They make themselves know they love each other. _It's hard, Kurt. God, I miss you. You always gave me so much strength… I love you so much. _Not allowing themselves to forget it. _** I love you so much Blaine… keep strong… we'll be together before we know it.**_

Then Blaine stops writing and calling. After almost a week, Kurt gets a letter, only this time it's delivered to him personally. The officer offers his condolences. It startles Kurt, but he doesn't give it much attention, as he closes the door, thanking the officer, too shaky to being properly able to open the envelope. And it's weird because the envelope is yellow. Blaine's envelopes are white. And that's not his handwriting wither on the envelope…

That's when it hits him. The officer's comment, the letter. His eyes are tearing again, as he opens the letter in his hands, afraid. He reads it once. Twice. Thrice. He reads it at least six times, and he's sobbing now. **KILLED IN ACTION. **He clutched the letter to his chest as he sobbed uncontrollably.

Kurt promises himself he will never move on, that there will never be another man in his life, apart from Blaine, despite of what Blaine told him. _Kurt, you have to promise me. _That is what mostly sets the guilt when he finds himself a few years later, dating Sebastian, who he met up with at NYADA.

Of course Blaine is not forgotten - _**I'll never forget you, Blaine, I love you -, **_and he never will be. But Kurt manages to move on. Slowly. But he does.

And before he knows it, he is laughing again, eating properly again, living again… _loving_ again.

-O-

Seven years have passed and Kurt has moved to another house, but that doesn't stop Blaine from getting the new address and go find him. With his duffle bag in hand, camouflaged pants and hat, white shirt, and brown boots that go up to his calves, he stands in front of the house the address scribbled in a sloppy handwriting had led him to. The house is beautiful, really. Huge and white, with a big wooden principal door, with a big window at each side – one covered with curtains, on the other the curtains are opened and it allows a perfect view to the inside. And there he is. Kurt is standing there, fashionable as ever. Blaine moves to give a step forward but something stops him. Another man walks in the picture. He's tall – taller than Kurt – his hair is brown, skinny – although you could see well-formed muscles underneath his clothes. Although several years have passed, there is no mistaking him: Sebastian. Sebastian walks over and holds Kurt by the waist, and Kurt puts his arms around Sebastian's neck. They talk, but it's inaudible for Blaine, and they smile at each other.

It hurts. It hurts to see not only that Kurt, the man he loved - still does - has moved on

And that the guy he's moved on with is a man who's made their lives living hell before. A guy they are both supposed to hate… a guy Kurt's found himself loving apparently.

His brain is telling him to walk away. To go. But his feet are not cooperating with the thought and he stays there, frozen.

But then he sees the little girl – a beautiful little girl with light brown straight hair, and perfect porcelain skin, dressed in a perfect little pink dress. She's just a child – no more than four years, probably. Blaine watches as she runs and leaps into Sebastian's arms and hugs him and yells excited: "Daddy!". Kurt is looking at the two of them, smiling unconsciously. _He's happy_, Blaine thinks to himself.

Somewhere in the time he was watching, Blaine must have dropped the moss-green bag he was carrying, because he suddenly realizes there isn't any weight on his right hand anymore. Yet he feels like he's being crushed by some inexistent weight on his shoulders instead.

He looks down and a drop falls to the pavement, leaving a dark spot.

He looks up.

He frowns.

He looks down again.

Another drop lands almost on top of the other.

He looks up, longer this time.

It isn't raining...

Then why- then he realizes it's him. He's crying. He looks over at the beautiful house again to find that there is no one there anymore and the lights have been turned off.

This time, his body cooperates with his brain and he forces himself to leave. He grabs his bag again to leave - he can't stay here and see this, he can't go in now. No. Kurt is probably better off without him, right?

Just as he lifts it, the door to the house opens and the three of them walk out - Kurt holding one of the little girl's hands, the other held by Sebastian - followed by an older blonde boy - around 10, maybe? (But who is Blaine to judge? The tears distort everything and there isn't a way to be sure).

Something hit him then: Kurt is smiling. Sure, he was smiling before but he hadn't played much attention to it. But now... now he's merely walking and he has this huge smile on his face. Kurt is happy.

So he leaves. _I can't do this to him._

Or at least that is what he tries to, because when he goes for the bag again, Kurt has finished tucking in the little girl in the baby seat in the car, and has held open the door for the boy to get in, and quickly kissed Sebastian on the cheek before he gets in the car and walking to the other side to open the driver's door. Over that side he has view of Blaine. And that's when, as he lifts his head, when he takes a step back to leave the door space to open, he sees him: His ex-boyfriend, his best friend, his lost companion... his Blaine.

**A/N: Thank you so much for reading this! :)**


	2. Careless Whisper

4

**N/A: Ahh guys thanks for the reviews! **

**To be honest I didn't know if to continue this or not, but well obviously I am :)**

**Tbh I don't know how this will turn out so**

**Ok. Ok. I'll stop now… thank you again and well, here's:**

**Chapter 2.**

Blaine keeps a firm grasp on his bag and he runs. He just runs. And before he knows it, he's out of breath – which of course is difficult to happen for someone who's been trained as hard as he was at war. When he feels that his whole body burns – his body from the running, his eyes from the tears, and his throat from harsh inhaling of his sobs – he stops and looks around, panting, to realize he's at a park. It's He starts walking now, trying to stop his sobs, and goes to an empty bench there is not more than ten feet away from him, at the centre of the park. As he reaches it, he lets the bag fall to the ground for a second time that day and slumps down on the wooden bench as his sobs start subsiding. He tries to take deep breathes, slowly, trying to calm himself. He knew this would happen, he knew Kurt would eventually forget him and move on if anything were to happen to him, but deep down inside he probably was hoping he wouldn't. The truth is, he probably hoped to knock on his door and hold him when Kurt jumped to his arms, and they would stand there for minutes just hugging and crying – of happiness, of course – and then they would break apart, only to come closer and kiss once more, after all that time. They would be together again and-

Blaine's head snapped up as an escaped sob broke his thinking. There he was: His boyfriend, his best friend, his lost companion... his Kurt. Only he's not his anymore. He's with Sebastian now. He's moved on.

Very slowly, Kurt walked towards Blaine, tears running down his face as every detail became clearer with every step he took (or at least, as clear as features can be when your own eyes are covered with tears, blurring your vision). Blaine hadn't changed much. His hair was shorter – not so much as every soldier's would be, but short enough for his curls to not be recognisable anymore – and his body was much more muscular than it was before he left. His plain white shirt hugged perfectly his muscles on his chest, abdomen and arms. Of course, he was older and you could tell, but he still had the same face, the same beautiful eyes that never seemed to decide whether to be hazel or green, and his same triangular eyebrows.

Blaine stood up, looking at Kurt as he approached him. Just like back at the house, his brain screams desperately at him to just move his damn feet and run, no matter how tired he feels. Just to run to get the hell away from him. Just to get away from him because now he's hurting him, _again. _He's hurting him and running away seems to be the only option to make it better. But his body is not responding. He's numb with a mix of fear and sadness and hurt and… and _hate._ Not hate towards Kurt – of course not, he could never hate his Kurt. Hell, not even hate towards Sebastian. He hates himself. Hates himself for letting it happen, for disappearing, for not being there, for going away… for not being enough.

He looks at Kurt. Jesus, he looks so tired now with his red eyes, puffed with crying. Why did he have to come back? Blaine hated to think like this but right now, maybe he hoped he _was_ killed back in war. He just couldn't get anything right, could he?

Blaine saw Kurt's broken face – and body for that matter, his posture was slumped, as if his shoulders weighted too much; plus, he was trembling. At the sight, he felt his heart breaking. How could he have done this? He should not have gone and find Kurt. Wasn't the fact that he moved houses enough of a warning that he didn't want Blaine back?

For all these years, the only memory he had of Kurt– actually, no… he remembered every single moment he spent with him… more accurate would be to say this was his favourite memory to think of – was the one of him laughing. He could hear his adorable, contagious laugh in his head, and that was what kept him going all along until this day. Now, he could hear the laughs he heard not more than twenty minutes ago – somehow muting Sebastian's and the little girl's ones, only capturing the sound of his lover's. It only made it worse. Minutes ago, Kurt was happy, and now… now he was broken.

Blaine stood there, watching as Kurt approached him, slowly. His brain kept yelling at him, but his body still decided not to move an inch. He was pretty sure he was even holding his breath while Kurt took another step further.

Kurt could see Blaine clearer with every footstep he took. God, had he missed his face. Everything was racing through his mind. From the memories of them together, to Blaine's departure, to the letters they sent to each other, to the visits, to that one yellow letter. And from the letter, to his pain, to Sebastian and their lives since, to seeing Blaine standing across the street, and all back again.

His mind froze for a couple of extra seconds when he thought about minutes ago when he saw Blaine, thinking how it could be possible. The moment Kurt lifted his head; he froze, as he recognized the face immediately. At that moment, his mind was going faster than ever; trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Was it a dream? Most probably. But… what part? Blaine's death or his return? His death was most definitely real, because there was no way that the pain he felt was false, he thought. It couldn't have all been a horrible nightmare. It was impossible for his subconscious to invent such agony inside him. If of something he was certain, were the months of suffering he spent after he got that damn letter. He had been dreaming of Blaine's return for far too long, thinking what it would feel like to hold him again, to kiss him once more… to never let him go again. All changed when he received the letter. He sobbed for days, and now, all he could think was all those embraces, the lost kisses, and the time they spent together. For days and months he looked back, building up the memories of them together. Every day he remembered another little thing that happened, and he added it to his memories. Like that, little by little, he practically built his life with Blaine all over again, not letting go. So yes, Blaine's death was definitely real for him.

That only left the option of Blaine's return being a dream. But, when he saw his face, even though he tried to convince himself it was only his imagination, he couldn't help but run after him.

That's why as sob escaped him as he saw him there sitting on that park bench: everything was suddenly painfully real and Blaine was _there_. He saw Blaine sitting on that bench and reality crushed him down. There was no trick – there couldn't be.

He wasn't moving. _God, Blaine, just to something!_ He screamed to himself mentally. What was he going to do when Kurt came closer? Everything was becoming awfully real and he just wanted it to stop. He wasn't sure exactly what he preferred right now: for him to have never left in the first place, or for him to have never come back. If he had never come back, then Kurt would not be in front of him, crying, pained. He would have moved on like he said he would, and he would keep being happy, taking no notice of Blaine's survival. But if he had never left, Blaine would still be with the love of his life, probably with a family of their own by now, living the life they always promised each other. But this meant Kurt would have never been with Sebastian. And he was happy with Sebastian… right? It's funny, isn't it? How, after all this time, Blaine still looked for the best for Kurt, forgetting about his own feeling for a while. Kurt has always been far more important for him, and hell, he will always be; together or not.

The taller boy was finally in front of Blaine and he stopped. They stood there, under the dim light of the street lamps and the moonlight, looking into each other's eyes. After seconds, or minutes, or hours – because, right then and there, what was time, right? – Kurt slowly raised a trembling hand to touch Blaine's cheek. A small gasp escaped his lips when he touched the other boy (for some reason he was expecting Blaine to disappear the moment he touched him somehow). Blaine closed his eyes for a few seconds, leaning a little into Kurt's touch, before opening them again and staring again into those blue, blue eyes.

"Blaine" Kurt half whispered, half chocked out, trying his best to stop the tears and (now more controlled) sobs. The word felt strange leaving his lips after all these years. But… it was a _good_ weird. He missed it. He missed being able to say the name. And Blaine missed him saying it. He was able to still hear it, even despite the days and months and years that passed by, inside his head, when he woke up, when he went to sleep; it was the first and last thing he heard when he was away: his voice. He tried to remember himself of the love of his life as much as he could while away, and his voice came to him instantly whenever he wanted (and when he didn't too – sometimes he just wanted to forget for a while, yet all he could hear was Kurt's voice over and over again, telling him everything will be fine and it was in moment like those that he didn't _want_ to hear his voice; yet it was when he most needed it). And, God, hearing him saying his name again only made him realize how his imagination in no way compared to Kurt's actual voice. The way his name left his lips was simply the most beautiful sound Blaine had ever heard and seriously, he could probably live happy for the rest of his life if only he had this voice speaking to him, and nothing more.

"Kurt" Blaine whispered back, , almost inaudible for the other man even though he was standing right in front of him. And there it is again, the name leaving his mouth felt wrong. Sure, he had said the other boy's name millions of time during the past years, but to call it out to him, like he used to before? That was completely different. It had been so long since he last said something directly to Kurt's face, his heart really sunk, just from that one little word. And it was funny, really, how that little word – only four letters - could belong to someone who meant the whole world to him.

Kurt let a little sigh at the mention of his name. He remembered the last time he heard Blaine say his name, and he promised himself that he would always remember the way he pronounced it. And until now, he thought he had done a great job keeping the promise, but the moment his name left Blaine's mouth, he realized just how wrong he was. His imagination did not in the slightest make up for it.

Kurt's hand was still on his cheek when he leaned his head forward, his thumb caressing ever so delicately – barely moving his finger at all – Blaine's cheek, as both of them closed their eyes.

**A/N: ahhh guys I can't believe I finished chapter 2! Oh well, thank you very much for the reviews! I really wasn't planning on continuing it because I didn't think it would even get read but well, here it is :) **

**I have yet to decide whether to make this a Klaine or a Kurtbastian fanfic yet, though :/ I have both ideas kind of planned in my head, so really it could be either…**

**Oh well, enough rambling! Again, thank you SO much! **

_A Heart Can Be Broken_


	3. What happened to you?

**A/N: Hi! (: so I read your comments and thank you, they all really helped!**

**Here is Chap. 3 I hope you like it! :$**

**Chapter 3:**

Kurt leans his head down, resting both of their foreheads together, allowing himself to get lost in the moment. And at the touch, he lets out another sigh.

They stay that way, almost not moving at all, afraid that if they do, the other will disappear. The tears left their tracks in both of their cheeks, but neither is crying anymore (they are both too caught up in what's happening to do so), and their breathing is somewhat calmer than it was a few minutes ago. The air around them is quite cold, but neither notice. They don't care. As they stand there, a smile finds its way to Kurt's lips, as he is invaded with the scent of the other man. In the same way, Blaine smiles to himself at the happy twist his stomach does at the touch. But his smile is quickly replaced with a frown because, no matter how much _he_ wants to right now, he is not sure if Kurt will want to kiss him. _He's so close! If only I lean-_ He stops himself. _No_. He can't do this. Kurt is not his anymore for him to do that. _He's with Sebastian_ he reminds himself and his stomach does a twist again, only this time it's not of happiness. Instead, he raises his arms and hooks them around the taller man's neck, bringing him closer for a hug. _Because a hug is allowed, right?_

Kurt is taken aback for a little moment, but soon enough, his hands leave their place at Blaine's cheeks and his long arms embrace Blaine at the waist. Both of their arms tighten around each other, and their strength holds for a few minutes, until they both let go at the same time. It's weird, isn't it? How, when you hug someone, both of you know exactly when to let go; as if both of you had the same thought.

They don't really end their embrace at first, though. They just separate a little; Blaine's arms still around Kurt's neck and Kurt's still around his waist. They look into each other's eyes again.

A few seconds later, still in the same position, Kurt speaks "What-". His voice breaks a little and Blaine smiles as it does so. Both let go and hold each other at arm's length. Kurt clears his throat, and tries talking again. His brain is racing with the too many questions to ask and he can't quite settle on which one to ask first, so he just shakes his head a little and rumbles, "What happened to you? You- you were there, a-and- and the letters, and then- then one day you _weren't_ there and-".

"Let's go somewhere else, ok?" Blaine cuts him off "let's go to a café." He looks around, remembering where he is. "The Lima Bean is quite far from here, and I don't think that it's open twenty-four hours, so…" He trails off, not finishing his sentence, curling his lip a little as he brings up the Lima Bean.

"We'll find someplace else, c'mon" Kurt says. And they start walking away from the park, settling on a somewhat comfortable silence, Kurt's mind still racing with questions, trying to come to terms of what just happened and that _Blaine is here._

Blaine's mind is quieter than it was before. Still going through everything all at once, yes, but… quieter, not making him panic, for once.

As they reach the street, a cab turns the corner towards them and Kurt stretches his hand, calling it.

They both get in and Kurt gives a "the closest café open all twenty-four around here" as a direction. They don't speak the whole way, but the music from the radio keeps it from being uncomfortable.

As they reach their destination, Blaine gets off the cab first (taking his bag with him), as Kurt pays the driver and joins Blaine on the sidewalk. Across the street there is this taken-from-the-movies café with two neon signs. One says: "24h open", the other: "Betty's". As they look at it, a thunder sounds and not two seconds after, heavy drops start falling. Both men run to the café, and Blaine gets there first, only to hold open the door for Kurt. Kurt smiles at him and goes in, followed by Blaine.

If from the outside it didn't look like one, then the inside will convince you that the coffee shop seemed as if it was taken directly from an 80s movie. The floor was completely covered with white and black tiles, the walls were light-blue or pink, with various paintings (of actors and singers, mainly) on them, along with vinyl records. To the left, rectangular metal tables were put with couched benches opposite to each other. On the right, there was an island bar with tall chairs that matched the benches.

When they step inside, soft music that accompanied the theme of the coffee shop was playing. They walked over to one on the tables and sat in front of each other. Almost immediately, a blonde girl with green eyes approached them and gave them a menu, then left.

Kurt thinks in starting the questions immediately after the waitress leaves, but he decided against it, since he knows she will interrupt in a couple of minutes to take their orders. So, he grabs the menu (as does Blaine) and looks through it, not really paying full attention, deciding what to ask for.

The blonde comes back, now with a little yellow pencil in her right hand and a notebook on the left.

"What can I get you two?" She asks

"I'll have a medium drip, please" Blaine says and looks at Kurt when they both smile.

After a few seconds of silence and looking at Blaine with a smile on his face, Kurt turns and looks at the girl, "And for me a Non-Fat Mocha". Kurt turns his head again and looks again at Blaine, both smiling, as the girl walks away with a nod to the boys.

"Like the first time?" Kurt asks first. He's referring to their coffee orders, but of course, he doesn't need to clarify.

"Like the first time." Blaine confirms, and they both smile at the memories.

Kurt lets out a little chuckle and says, "I will never understand how you were so oblivious! You know, the Warblers used to have a bet between them on how long it would take you to figure it out…"

"Who won?" Blaine asks, laughing himself.

"I think Nick won the bet" Kurt says with a smile, but then he adds slowly, "But in the end, I think it was us the real winners".

The smiles fade from both of their faces. _Winners?_ Blaine thinks. How can you call them winners? _Look at us now!_ Did they really win? Can _this_ be called winning? Blaine frowns a little, almost unnoticeably.

"Yeah…" Blaine whispers and the blonde girl comes back again with both of their coffees.

After she puts the cup in front of the two boys, she says, "My name's Cindy, if you need anything, call me" and then she goes again behind the bar and starts filling a cross-word puzzle.

Both of them take a sip of their coffee and smile at the taste. It just takes them back to all those years ago. _**"You know my coffee order?" "Of course I do"**__._ Blaine is looking down at his cup, and Kurt is the first to break the silence. When Blaine looks up at him, he's surprised to see that he isn't smiling anymore, but has a rather sad expression on his face.

"What happened to you?" he asks again, voice low. And this causes Blaine's smile to slowly fade away, and he copies Kurt's hurtful expression as he starts talking again.

**A/N: So that's chapter 3!**

** Ehm ****Ok. So basically I'll try and update every Sunday, though I'm not reliable :)**

**Again, Thank you! And well, leave reviews of what you'd like to happen, and I'll consider it because, honestly… I have no idea of what to make of this story!**


	4. It's gonna be okay

**A/N: OH. MY. GOD. I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO FREAKING LONG!**

**Remember when I said I would update every Sunday, though not reliable? Well guess what? I'm definitely not reliable!**

**Again, so so sorry, but here's chapter 4! I hope you enjoy! And once again, thank you so much for reading!**

**Chapter 4:**

"I-" Blaine's voice breaks slightly, he coughs, smiles faintly as he looks into Kurt's eyes and takes a sip of his coffee as just an excuse for extending the silence. _C'mon, Blaine! The least he deserves is the truth! He's looking at _Kurt's beautiful, sapphire blue eyes, and that only brings back memories, all at once, of all the times he could remember looking into his eyes. Yet one in particular is the one stuck in his mind.

_It was after their first performance of "West Side Story" back in McKinley. It was their first time. He remembers the words as if it was yesterday… always has and always will: "I want to go to your house". _

_He would be lying if their first time sleeping together (well, at least that way) wasn't uncomfortable at the beginning. But as breathes melted sweetly into the hot air and their heat mixed together, and their bodies became one only, it was the most beautiful unimaginable feeling in the world._

_But this wasn't even the memory Blaine had in mind. It was the one after that, when they lay in bed, facing each other - Blaine's hand stoking carefully up Kurt's arm, from his fingertips, to his wrist, to elbow, to his shoulder, and down again – staring into one another's eyes. Kurt's shining with ecstasy, Blaine's heavy with exhaustion, yet he couldn't bring himself to close them just yet… he had to keep looking into those eyes for a little while longer._

But there is only just how long a sip of coffee can last, and he has to speak again. He sets the cup of coffee down again, back where the dark liquid has left a brown circle on the plate. He takes a deep breathe, confident enough now to start talking.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to…" Kurt says, softly. The truth he was dying to know. The questions – _so many questions right know -_ he had not only from the time he saw Blaine in front of his car, but since he'd gone missing. So many questions he'd been dying to ask to someone else but himself and the empty grave he visited. Yes, he had many questions to ask right now, but if he put himself in Blaine's position, he guessed it was difficult, so he allowed himself to give Blaine some time.

"No it's-" Blaine took yet another deep breathe. "It's okay". Kurt nodded slightly, giving Blaine a small smile. Blaine grabbed his cup of coffee, but didn't lift it up. He looked down at it. The warmth that travelled from the cup to his hands and through his body seemed to be giving him just a little bit of confidence in himself to start talking. "One of the last times I wrote you, I told you we were going… going _there"_ He couldn't bring himself to say the name, it would just bring memories, and right now memories were bad, he was sure. Blaine didn't need to say exactly where they went, though… Kurt would have that name engraved in his mind forever, given what "happened" there. "And we did go. There, I kept writing to you, every chance I got. We were winning, we- we were but then-" Blaine found it to be harder than he thought to say this. His eyes were beginning to tear up a little bit. _Do not cry, Blaine. Don't you dare cry. _Another deep inhale. He clenched his jaw and begun again, "Apparently, they had a secret attack no one had expected or knew how to response, really… They- it was horrible, Kurt…" Blaine frowns. "They kept us up at night, we were restless over the morning – I don't think nobody got more than three hours of sleep each night. They hid so freaking well, we could never find a basecamp or just… _something…_ it was so frustrating! There was no way to recognize one of _them_ from a normal civilian – they wore the same clothes on purpose…" By this point tears were forming in his eyes more quickly by the second. He wanted to look up at Kurt, look at him and gain some more courage to continue, but at the same time part of him knew that if he looked up, he would be devastated by the sight – Kurt was crying too, he could hear the sniffling and the shuddering breathes. He thought of taking another sip of coffee, but he couldn't do that without having to raise his gaze.

"Blaine…" A whisper

Blaine shook his head a little and gripped his cup tighter - if possible – and kept going. "One day, we were at our camp and these – these _people_ come towards us, asking for help… all were scared, most were crying… God, there were children among them, Kurt, _children!_" He lets out a shaky exhale and then a calming breath-in to calm himself a bit. "So some of the guys go with them – most were out of the basecamp by then as well. We must have been about seven in there when- when fifteen men or so barged in and took all of us hostages…" Blaine risked it and lifted his gaze at Kurt who had now tears running freely down his cheeks.

"But- but the letter sa-" Kurt whispered, but stopped when his voice broke.

Blaine shook his head. "They were smart… they shot five soldiers right then and there and- and then as the rest of us were being dragged out of there, they blew the basecamp completely… not a trail of nothing but ashes and metals left… but they made sure to leave some of the bodies intact, so it would- it would seem as if we've all died in there…" Blaine looks down at his hands that he hadn't realized were shaking until now, and then he looks up again. "It was all an act… those people who came for help… they were helping them, they- they created a commotion…" He took an encouraging sip of his coffee, hoping he would gain strength, but it didn't do anything but make him nauseous, so he settled the cup back where it was. "It was so horrible, Kurt… they took all of us to their basecamps… beat the crap out of most of us… it was awful. And the days went by, then weeks, and months, and before any of us could realise, years had gone by. They went insufferably slow, to be honest… not everyone got out of there… two died of exhaustion, the rest of us got to scape when the army found out about us and came to get us out." A small silence followed before Blaine sniffed quickly and continued, "of course the letter would say "die in combat"… that was, after all, what it looked like… nobody would have guessed that we could have possibly gotten out of there alive…" Blaine looks at Kurt's eyes, which are filled with tears by now but it's clear he is trying to hide his emotions, to give Blaine some sort of comfort about the story. "I'm sorry I couldn't talk to you before appearing at your house… I- I should have-"_I should have called first, _he means to say, but without warning his voice breaks and he can't hold it inside anymore. The next thing he is aware of is Kurt standing from his seat, to go seat next to him, and putting both arms around his shoulders, letting him hide his face on the crook of Kurt's neck and cry. Kurt tightens his grip when Blaine starts shocking slightly violently from his sobs.

"Hey Blaine, it's okay, honey… shhh… it's gonna be okay… shhh… it's all over now… shhh" Kurt whispers against Blaine's ear and rubs a hand up and down his back.

Blaine has gone limp in his arms, and the whole fifteen minutes that it takes for him so still his breaths and stop crying, Kurt doesn't let go of him.

Even after that, when Blaine has already calmed down, neither of them moves, and Kurt's hand goes from Blaine's back to his hair. A silence settles between them and it's neither uncomfortable nor comfortable. For a few minutes, Kurt just keeps running his fingers through Blaine's hair, and places a small kiss on Blaine's temple, leaving his lips resting there, as he repeats once again in another whisper to break the silence, "it's gonna be okay…"

**A/N: AASDFGHJKL Thank you again for reading this! It means a lot to me! :)**

**Please leave reviews with ideas if you want, I'll maybe consider them :) **

**I guess that's it… sorry again for how long it took lol I'll try to update it sooner for chapter 5 :)**


	5. Even the sun sets in Paradise

**A/N: OH MY GOD. I am so sorry! The last time I updated was over a month ago! **

**Just when I was finishing this chapter my laptop broke so I had to fix it and D: I'm sorry!**

**But on the good side I have spent time thinking how to continue this story because I wasn't quite sure how to continue it or end it… but now I sort of already know the plot of the following chapters…**

**Again, thank you all guys for the reviews, favourites and follows! I really appreciate them! And they did give me ideas on how to continue this so MASSIVE THANK YOU :D**

**Well, without much more to say, here is Chapter 5 :)**

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**Chapter 5 – "Even the sun sets in Paradise":**

After deciding that neither really felt like finishing off their coffees, Kurt pulled out his wallet – _"No, hey I got it" _– to pay for their orders, and they went outside, where it was no longer raining.

It was well past midnight – definitively closer to dawn by now. They started walking and fell into a comfortable silence, except for the sound of their feet against the cold, wet pavement. Kurt had decided that it was probably best for Blaine to not remember more than he already had about what he had been through, and maybe walking would clear his mind.

Blaine was the first to break the silence this time "I feel we only talked about me in there" Blaine chuckled a little "what about you?" Of course he kind of regretted the question immediately, yet at the same time he didn't. He didn't want to know about Kurt getting together with Sebastian, but he also wanted –_ needed_ – to.

"What about me?" Kurt asked to avoid the question, if only for a few more seconds. What could he say to Blaine? That yes, he had moved on, and that yes, it had been with Sebastian? No… he couldn't.

"How have you been after all these years?" Blaine couldn't bring himself to ask the question he really wanted to ask. _How did he end up with Sebastian? Didn't he (they) hate him? Does he love him? Does he no longer love you? _His mind tortured him. Instead, he would find his way to it with other questions.

After taking a deep breath, Kurt answered, "It's been… hard, to be honest. The first few years were really tough, you know? I couldn't quite come to terms with myself that you were gone. I- I used to wake up and look over at your side and see the empty space, but the first thing that came to mind – if only for a few seconds – was that maybe you'd waken up earlier…" His eyes stung with tears, but he takes a shuddering breath as to not letting them fall and continues. "Even after realizing that you haven't woken up before me… a lot of times I would go downstairs and prepare breakfast for two without noticing" He let out a weak chuckle.

He lifted his gaze from the floor he had been staring at and looked at Blaine's eyes, which were, like his, glistering. "I'm sorry" He continued, quickly bringing his sleeves to his closed eyes to stop the tears from falling against his consent. "You don't want to know that, of course… you want to know about Sebastian." It wasn't a question; still he looked over at Blaine again, to see him nod slightly in response.

"Sebastian… well…" Kurt sighted, trying to come to terms to where he could start, and took a big breath again to continue, "like I said, it was… _hard_ living without you…" The tears are still threatening to fall but he won't let them. Not yet. "You were gone for two years when I got the letter, and after that, I spent a year just… just off and distant… and well… one day when I get enough strength to drag myself out of bed to go to the grocery shop and I came across Sebastian so I said hello… he asked about you and having to say it out loud – that you were… _gone-" _He picks the last word carefully. "Somehow, after all those years, it made it… _real."_

"Kurt-" Blaine begins, trying to make Kurt stop talking as he feels the pain on his tone. But Kurt shakes his head; he needs to get everything out, or he will never be able to do so otherwise.

"After that day, I… I don't know, Blaine" He sighted deeply. The tears didn't stop their threat of falling, but Kurt would still not let them fall. They start walking again, without either of them saying to do so; they move with each other, as if having the same thoughts. "I uhm…" He started again, but words were hard to find at the moment. He tried again. "I- I know what you want to know, what you're thinking: why him? After everything that has happened, why him?" He was right, as if he was reading Blaine's mind; that was exactly what he was wondering from the beginning. _Why him? _"To be honest, I don't think I can quite understand why myself either… I guess Sebastian… he made me feel something I thought I would never be able to feel again after you left, Blaine… He just made me _feel_ again, even after I lost all hope… He was there for me and I guess we learnt to care for each other in a way."

Blaine didn't miss the smile that crept upon Kurt's face as he said the last line. That smile he knew too well; a smile that used to belong to him, but not anymore. Blaine nodded, taking in the information that had just been shared. Again, stopped walking, but Kurt took no notice of it. Blaine took a deep breath and asked the question he was probably dreading the most, "Do you love him?"

Blaine's voice was distant and barely audible. Even if he had talked silently, it was too hushed. Kurt stopped and turned around to realize it was because Blaine had stopped advancing a couple of steps back. When Blaine didn't show any sign of moving forward, Kurt took the decision of doing so. When he was closer, he confessed, "I do. I do love him. I- I never stopped loving you, Blaine, you know that… but yes, I love him."

The response somehow comforted and broke him apart all the same. It killed him to know that the love of his life had left him, yes. But part of Blaine was also glad to know that Kurt had moved on; that he was able to go on with his life and start all over again. That he was able to find happiness despite everything that had happened.

Something hit him right then, just as it had done when he stood in front of Kurt's –_and Sebastian's_ – house, and saw the family walk out the door: Kurt was smiling, back then. He was even smiling at the mention of his and Sebastian's relationship. _Kurt is happy now, Blaine… you can't break him – not again._ His mind tortured him even further.

With realization settled and tears in his eyes, Blaine stutters, "I- God- I- I shouldn't have come here in the first place… I should have known you would have moved on… I- I'm sorry, Kurt. I really shouldn't have come here…" He takes a step backwards, meaning to leave – _again_, he thinks – but Kurt is quick to step forwards and grab his hand in order not to let him, and Blaine is too weak to fight against him.

"Please don't leave… and don't say that, Blaine…" Kurt pleaded. "I would have waited for you… I- I _did_… but then the letter came and I just- I- I'm so sorry-". The tears were still not leaving his eyes, but Kurt was still gasping a little for air as he talked. "I'm sorry" He whispers finally.

As Kurt apologises weakly, Blaine steps forward and wraps him in a hug. Quite the same as the one they shared before, only now Blaine wraps his arms around Kurt's waist, and Kurt quickly puts his arms around the shorter boy's neck. Blaine regrets it immediately, obviously. Kurt being so close to him makes him feel as if nothing changed, as if they are back seven years in time and they get to be together again. Kurt's body was shaking, but it didn't feel like he was crying. With tears falling from his eyes at the proximity between each other, Blaine soothed the boy, "Shh… It's okay, you don't have to say you're sorry, Kurt… I should be the one apologising."

Kurt shook his head no and he let a big breath out. After years of being away from each other, they were finally together again. Maybe not the way he had thought it would be, but nevertheless together again. Even if they hugged before that night, both of them still couldn't let the fact of being this close to each other again go. Neither one of them let go and simply stood there in the dark, holding each other.

Soon, Kurt's body stopped shaking, and Blaine managed to stop crying. The two of them pulled apart, but didn't let go of each other. Blaine kept his hand on Kurt's back, and Kurt kept his arms hooked around Blaine's neck. Kurt's eyes were misty with unshed tears, and on Blaine's face, the tracks his tears left were visible despite the darkness of the night. They stared at each other's eyes. Kurt slowly reached with his hand and wiped away at the last tears that had fallen, but not putting any more distance between the two of them, and lets his hand linger on Blaine's cheek, not wanting to let go. He smiled down at the boy slightly.

It had been so long since Kurt had the chance of being this close to Blaine that it literally hurt him right now. He had spent years of agony in simple need of just being able to touch the boy again. It seemed a bit unreal, even; to think that just hours ago he hadn't known about Blaine being back, and now he was there, holding him. Suddenly, they are back at McKinley's auditorium just after the performance of West Side story, apologising to each other, telling how much they love each other. The reminder his mind sets upon itself is hurtful for Kurt. He was just so close to him that if he leaned in a few inches, Kurt would be able to kiss those lips again after all those years. It would be so easy to just edge only a little closer and press their lips together.

Blaine clearing his throat brings Kurt back to reality. They don't let go, but Kurt does lean back and looks a little embarrassed at the memory flashing through his mind. "So uhm… It's a little late – or early, actually… you- uhm you should probably get back home" Blaine speaks up, voice raspy and quite awkwardly.

Kurt hadn't really thought about it, really. He had to go back home; to Sebastian, to the kids. "Yeah, I- I should" He said half-heartily, but not breaking his gaze with Blaine's. He unhooks his arms from around Blaine's neck and as if expected, Blaine does the same. Suddenly somewhat awkward, they take a step back and stay distant from each other.

A block away, there's a big avenue, where a few cars are still passing by, despite the hour. There, they will surely be able to get a taxi to take them back home. So, they begin walking towards it again, in a deep silence neither knows how to break.

"Do you- do you have a place to stay? I mean, it wouldn't be trouble for you to stay at my place… if- if you want" Kurt suggests. He does mean it, and he does want to know if Blaine has somewhere to stay, but he also asks in order to break the silence.

"Yeah… yeah, I have a place to stay, don't worry…" He replies. It's a lie, obviously. He doesn't have a place to go, but he feels that if he stays at Kurt and Sebastian's place tonight, it will be just too uncomfortable for both of them. Sebastian still doesn't know what happened that afternoon, he supposes, and Blaine doesn't think he would be too happy to find out his _husband_ brought home his _ex_ who had been gone for seven years, and is out-of-thin-air back… no, he couldn't stay with Kurt tonight.

"Oh, okay…" Kurt is disappointed yet relieved to hear that because it means he would have to say goodbye to Blaine tonight, but he doesn't know how he could throw such big news at Sebastian if Blaine would have accepted the offer.

The rest of the walk to the avenue is spent in silence. When they reach it, is only a matter of minutes (luckily) before a cab passes and they stop it. Kurt forces Blaine to take this one, and he would take the next one.

Just as Blaine is about to get in the car, Kurt stops him and Blaine turns back to look at him with hopeful eyes, not wanting to say goodbye to Kurt just yet. He wants to stay with him forever, like they planned… "Uhm… do you have a- a number? I can call you to? So we can meet again…" He asks, trying to extend the conversation as long as he can, expectant to the chance that they can meet again.

"No, I don't actually, but give me yours and I'll call you when I get the chance?" the other boy responds, taking a pen out of the bag's pocket and handing it to Kurt. "Uhm…" he mutters as he realises he doesn't have a paper for him to write on.

Kurt chuckles and takes Blaine hand, both of their hearts seeming to skip a beat at the action. "Here", he says as he scribbles down his number on Blaine's palm.

"Great, I- I'll give you a call tomorrow… or later today, I guess?" Blaine asks with a shy smile.

"Yeah, that's fine" Kurt smiles. "Bye, Blaine" He adds and leans in to give the boy a kiss on the cheek. He doesn't know if it's appropriate or not, but he doesn't really care.

"Bye" Blaine talks back, not quite remembering the word that leaves his mouth, very astonished by the kiss. Somehow he gets into the cab and orders the driver to take him to the closest hotel in town. Before he knows it he's paying the driver and entering a lobby, being given a key, and taken to a room. Inside, he doesn't recall taking a shower or changing, just flopping on his bed and falling immediately asleep.

-O-

As Blaine gets in the taxi and the car drives away, a feeling of nostalgia and sadness washes over Kurt as he watches Blaine go away. The boy whispers a half-acknowledged "Bye, Blaine" into the air before stopping another cab that passes by no more than three minutes later, for his fortune. On the way back, his mind is still trying to recover from all that has happened in the last few hours; still trying to realize that _Blaine is back._

He arrives at his house and gets out of the car after paying the driver. His steps feel heavy to carry as he walks to the entrance. Thankfully he carried his key with him, and unlocks the door to step into his house. Kurt closes the wooden door, leans against it. His knees feel weak, forcing him to slide down the door, sitting on the cold floor.

Now that he is finally alone, away from Blaine he lets himself completely feel. He lets himself cry, allowing the tears he had been saving all afternoon to flow freely.

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**A/N: OH. MY. GOD. IT IS FINALLY FINISHED. I CANNOT EVEN.**

**SIGH. **

**Ok, well, it is finally done! So yay! It took long enough, didn't it?**

**Thank you SO MUCH for reading this! And thanks for the reviews and favourites! And again, sorry for the delay :S**

**Next chapter will hopefully take me less time as I already have planned out what is going to happen… (Spoilers alert: Kurtbastian moment!)**

**Until next chapter and, again, THANK YOU! 3**


	6. Darling, I've been waiting for you

**A/N: AHHH it's here! YAY I FINISHED THE CHAPTER! And this time it took me less time so yay! **

**Thank you guys so much for the reviews and/or follows and/or favourites! They mean a lot to me :D**

**And well… here it is, Chapter 6! Enjoy!**

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**CHAPTER 6 - "Hold on, on to me":**

"Dada, where did daddy run off to?" Anna asked sweetly, her voice tinted with the slur of a four year old. She was under her comforter and bed sheets, and Sebastian was sitting by her side making sure she was well tugged in before she went to sleep.

"He-" Sebastian started, but stopped as he realized he had no idea where Kurt might actually be right now. It had been hours since he left and now, with the sun set, Anna was ready to go to sleep. "I don't know sweetie, but I promise I will let you know when he shows up, ok?" He promises to his daughter.

"What if he doesn't come home, dada?" The little girl questions, with exaggerate fear in her eyes – of course for a four year old it isn't and exaggeration at all.

Sebastian would be lying if he said he wasn't surprised at the question. Because what happens _if he doesn't come home?_ Sebastian had no idea where Kurt had run off to, or why for that matter. He didn't know if something bad had happened to him, or if it hadn't. He knew absolutely nothing… and it was maddening not knowing. Still, he tried to appear calm for his daughter and son, trying to transmit the good energy to them, even if inside the concern was killing him. He smiled down at Ana and said, "He will come back home, honey, don't worry about it". He leaned down and kissed her forehead before wishing her good night.

"Good night dada" The little girl replied, already sleepy, and she closed her eyes.

Sebastian turned off the light on the girl's room and headed back downstairs to the kitchen. He was really just trying to waste time until Kurt came back home. _If he comes back_ his mind reminded him.

As he passed by the living room, he noticed the TV was on and his son was sitting on the couch watching a show. Sebastian glanced at the clock. It read 10:50pm. "Buddy, in ten minutes I expect you to be in bed, ok?" He informed at the direction of the couch.

"Okay dad!" The boy called back.

Sebastian smiled a little to himself remembering how he was very much alike to his son when he was ten years old. He walked to the kitchen and boiled some water. While he waited, he began washing the dishes that had accumulated on the sink. Just as he finished putting all the dishes away, the kettle whistled, announcing the water had boiled. Sebastian poured some of the hot water in a cup and placed a tea bag inside. Again, trying to keep himself busy, while the tea bag tainted the water a darker colour, Sebastian proceeded to clean the counter tops. When the man realized he could no longer do anything else that would distract him in the kitchen, he took his cup of tea and walked back into the house after adding sugar to his drink and throwing the used tea bag away.

By now the clock read 11:07pm. The TV was still on and Sebastian rolled his eyes as he approached the couch. "Hey, what did I say? C'mon, off to bed!" He told his son, with fake strictness on his voice.

"Sorry" The boy mumbled, his voice raspy, and he stood up quickly, meaning to run to his room.

"Hey, hey hold on a second" Sebastian stopped him at the tone of his voice. When the kid stopped, Sebastian was able to see his eyes shining, and the tracks of tears on his cheeks. "Hey, what's wrong, buddy?" He asked with his voice tainted with worry. When he didn't answer, Sebastian continued, "Matt, c'mon, tell me what's wrong…" He led them both back to the couch and sat, opposite side from his son.

Matthew sniffed and spoke quietly, "I- I heard you and Annie talking in her room…" The blond boy looked up at his dad, brown eyes filled with worry and fear. "What if what Annie said is true dad? I mean I- I know you told Annie he would but you were quiet for a while before answering… what if daddy doesn't come back home?" the boy stared at his dad when he finished, then lowered his head – now looking at his lap where he played with his finger with uncertainty - waiting for an answer.

Sebastian stared back at his son, not believing the words that left his mouth. Their kids shouldn't be worrying about this so much! They were only four and nine years old, for Christ sake! "Matthew, listen to me." Sebastian told decided, but the boy didn't lift his gaze from his lap, so he added, "Hey, look at me". Only when Matthew looked at his dad – eyes still filled with tears – he decided to continue. "Matt, your dad will be here, okay? I want neither you nor Annie to worry about it, yes?" He asked, not breaking eye contact with his son.

Matthew nodded slightly before sniffling one last time and letting out an "okay", standing up from the couch as his dad did the same, turning off the TV.

"C'mon, you wanna watch a movie in my room?" Sebastian asked with a small smile on his face as both walked to their bedrooms.

"But, it's past eleven…" Matthew commented, a frown on his face, suspicious on the offer.

Sebastian pretended to give that a thought before he answered: "Well… how about this? Since it's Friday, you can stay up later…" The huge smile on his son's face made it too hard for Sebastian not to hold one smile of his own, but he resisted in order to keep up the play trying to look serious. "But-" Sebastian interrupted, in make believe that the imposition he was putting would be hard, and Matthew's smile fell a little as he listened careful to the condition. "- you don't say a word to your dad when he gets here, he would kill both of us, and you know it…" The smile was back to both of their faces now. "Or to Annie, for that matter… you know your sister tells _everything_ at her age" Sebastian added, and they both laughed as they made their way to the master bedroom.

"Which movie do you want-"

"The Avengers!" Matthew interrupts Sebastian before he can even finish the sentence.

Sebastian chuckles. "Ok, ok. Go wash up and change while I set up the movie." He orders the boy. The order is not even completely out of his moth before the boy is running out of the room, extremely excited to watch the movie. Sebastian laughs a little at the sight and goes to set the movie on his DVD. He changes into his pyjamas and goes to lie in bed. As he does so, he glances at a photo set on his bedside table: One of Him, Kurt, a younger Matthew, and a new-born Annie held by both men. It was taken in the hospital only hours after she was born.

Sebastian smiled at the photo and the memory before his thoughts were interrupted by Matthew jumping on his bed, settling under the sheets.

Sebastian pressed play to the movie, and not fifteen minutes passed before Matthew fell asleep. Carefully, Sebastian lifted the boy and took him to his own bed, making sure he was tugged in before leaving back to his own room and turning off the TV.

Sebastian lay down in bed and looking at the photo on his bedside table before is the last thing he remembers before falling into a deep sleep.

-O-

Kurt decided he had done enough crying – and too loud for that matter; he could wake someone up. He really hoped he didn't, though. He forces himself up from the cold, white tiles and decides something hot in his stomach will probably do him good right now. So, he walks to the kitchen. In the way, he takes big, deep breaths, calming himself, and dries his tears with his sleeves.

Upon entering the kitchen Kurt puts water to boil to prepare tea. He would normally drink coffee right now, but he figured he needs some sleep, and coffee would not help him with the matter.

To be honest, he can't stop thinking about that afternoon. He really can't. But he needs to try and put it behind him… at least at home; at least for Sebastian and the kids.

He is determined to not let anyone see him this way, but he still can't seem to stop thinking of that afternoon and how _damn close_ he had been to Blaine; to _kiss Blaine._

The water begun to boil and the whistle of the kettle startled Kurt and brought him back to reality. He hurried to turn off the stove - in order to not let it whistle for too long and wake someone - up and served himself a cup of tea, still not being able to keep Blaine and that afternoon quite out of his head.

He was too focused on preparing the hot beverage and he did not hear the rustle a mattress does when someone sits up on bed, upstairs; or the bed sheets being tossed away and the light switch being turned on. Nor did he take notice of the sound of steps coming down the stairs, towards the kitchen.

-O-

The rustle of metal clanking against each other interrupts his unconsciousness, but not enough to completely wake Sebastian up. He is still at that point in his sleep where he is not awake, but neither is he completely asleep either.

A faint whistle is heard from downstairs – which is surely muffled by the walls and furniture between the two floors. The noise wakes up Sebastian this time and he, confused, looks at the clock, which flashes in bright neon blue: 3:32AM. Sebastian is by now used to Kurt making coffee at night, so Sebastian doesn't really pay much attention to it. Although the hour the clock shows does startle him. _Why is Kurt preparing coffee at three thirty in the morning?_

It takes only a few seconds for realization to hit, and when it does Sebastian sits up at what may seem inhuman speed. Maybe he dreamed it, he thinks, so he stays seated on his bed, eyes wide – despite just waking up, sleep is not shown in his eyes right now. He is listening carefully for another sound to prove if someone truly is downstairs.

A moment passes before another clang of metal against metal assures this and Sebastian lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding until just yet.

He impatiently walks out of the room and towards the stairs. There, he grabs the railing of the stairs with shaking hands, not trusting his body enough not to fall. Despite this insecurity, he cannot help all but run down the stairs.

There is a constant clink – duller this time – coming from the kitchen. Kurt must be stirring the beverage and the spoon must be hitting the cup, he thinks. Sebastian walks slowly towards the kitchen and stops just a step before reaching it, not daring to look inside.

Taking a deep breath, Sebastian takes the final step and stares into the kitchen. There he is. Kurt is with his back facing Sebastian, and he continues to turn the spoon inside the cup for a few more seconds before turning a little to put the spoon in the sink.

Sebastian has no recognition of what is happening, and neither does Kurt. But before Kurt can even reach the sink, Sebastian is suddenly hugging him, making Kurt let out a small yelp of surprise as he does so. The hold Sebastian has on the boy is strong, and gets even stronger as Kurt comprehends what is happening and holds onto Sebastian back.

Having Kurt again in his arms after a whole day of worrying forces an exhale of relief out of Sebastian and brings tears to his eyes.

"Where the hell have you been?" Sebastian whispers in Kurt's ear, not enough strength to talk at normal volume. Sebastian leans back, but still holds Kurt at arm's length. "You just run off and left me with the kids in the car… I've been worrying sick over you!" Sebastian adds – voice louder and filled with concern this time.

Sebastian grabs Kurt's face in his hand lightly and leans in, kissing him gently before Kurt has the chance to answer. Sebastian draws back, but keeps their foreheads against each other.

"I'm sorry" Kurt apologizes softly and his voice is marked with obvious regret and it's still obviously hoarse from crying.

Hearing this makes Sebastian lean back - his hands still clutching Kurt's face - , and he takes notice of the red in Kurt's eyes and how swollen they seem.

"You've been crying." Sebastian states. "What happened? Did someone hurt you?" Sebastian continued, anger starting to build up inside him. "Because if someone did I swear to-"

"Blaine." Kurt interrupts bluntly.

At the look of confusion on Sebastian's face, Kurt looks down to his shoes, not being able to look at the other boy right now, and clarifies, "It was Blaine who was standing by the car earlier today… That's why I run off…"

At the explanation, Sebastian stiffens completely, his mind not knowing exactly what conclusion to reach.

-O-

"He's back? But- But th- the letter. It said-" Sebastian stammered after the initial shock wore off.

"I know… that's why I run after him." Kurt explained. "I couldn't believe it either…"

An awkward silence falls between both of them, and after a few moments, Sebastian gathers enough courage to break it, taking a big breath before speaking. "Does… Does this mean… I mean… does this mean you're, you know… going to go… with him, now?" Sebastian asks, and even though he tries not to, the hurt and awkwardness if evident in his tone.

With a sigh, Kurt responds, "I don't know, Seb… I-" The tears begin to fall again. "I love you, I honestly do, but… I don't know what I feel right know and I- I- I just don't know, Seb… I'm sorry." Kurt admits, sounding defeated. "I'm so confused and- and I'm so sorry" He chokes out before a sob escapes his mouth.

Sebastian is there hugging him strongly again, not admitting his dread on the possibility of Kurt leaving "It's fine, Kurt." He assures the broken boy, as he himself tried to hold in the tears that threat to fall. "Shhh. Let's go to bed, ok babe? You must be exhausted". It was true, Kurt really was exhausted. With a sigh, Sebastian concluded, "Let's go to sleep and we can discuss it later, okay?"

With a sniff, Kurt nods. Sebastian gets closer again and gives Kurt another small kiss before leaning back and smiling a little.

They walk upstairs to their bedroom. Not saying a word to each other, Kurt changes into his pyjamas and cleans himself. Meanwhile, Sebastian is already lying down on their bed, looking up to the ceiling, thinking about what will happen. _Will – Would - Kurt chose Blaine? He couldn't… right? They had begun a family together… there was no way Kurt would leave them now… right?_ His mind runs over these thoughts, not willing to shut up. Then again, Blaine _was,_ in fact, Kurt's first love; everybody knows that the first love is one that stays forever in one's heart.

Interrupting his torturous thoughts, Sebastian is glad Kurt walks in the room and goes towards the bed and lies down under the covers next to him. Sebastian puts an arm around Kurt's waist, holding him close. "I've missed you…" He whispers, kissing Kurt softly at his nape. "I love you" He adds in the same hushed tone.

"I love you, too" Kurt responds. And he means it; he doesn't doubt it. The warmth in his stomach as Sebastian rounded an arm around him confirmed it.

They stay like that, holding each other until they both fall into a peaceful sleep, only to be woken up a few hours later with the cry of a baby a few rooms down, and Kurt and Sebastian are forced to wake up.

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**A/N: OH YEAH! It is done! And it's waaay longer than the other chapters, I KNOW! I'm sorry!**

**Asdfghjkl well this is done, and I'm so happy :D**

**If I'm being completely honest one of the hardest things ever I finding a title of each chapter u.u I've been with my itunes on shuffle (yes all titles are from songs wow original i know) for like an hour trying to decide on one.**

**Anyway! Thank you so much for reading / reviewing / favoriting / following the story! :D**


	7. Memories are fresh

**A/N: HI GUYS! Sorry for being this long is just that I've been full with school work (UGH) even though we were only two week away from finishing school, we were bombarded with last-minute projects! u.u**

**Anyway… thanks for the favourites / follows / and reviews! And here is chapter 7 so yay :D Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 7:**

Sebastian woke up shortly after having just falling asleep by the stream of sunlight that came in through the window. Opening his eyes he saw Kurt still sleeping in his arms. Just as the memories from last night came back, Sebastian tightened a little his grip on the other man. Cautiously, without moving too much in order not to wake Kurt up, he turned his head to glance at the clock at his bedside table that read 6:05AM. Again, carefully, he slid out of bed and closed the blinds, deciding that it was way too early for a Saturday and he went back to bed, holding Kurt in his arms again, closing his eyes and going back to sleep. By the time he was woken up again for some unexplainable reason it was 10:15AM. Kurt was shifting awake besides him as well. The reason for their wakening was revealed when a sharp cry from a baby erupted again from a few doors down.

The crying continued as Sebastian started to rub the tiredness out of his eyes and Kurt made the gesture of sitting up in bed, but Sebastian stopped him.

"Shhh" He hushed, rubbing Kurt's back gently "Don't worry about it baby… I'll go; you stay here and sleep, okay?"

"You sure?" Kurt mumbled, voice rough from sleep – not entirely awake yet – and muffled by the pillow.

"Yeah…" Seb assured, leaning in and planting a sweet kiss to Kurt's temple - Kurt sighing at the action in acknowledgement before continuing sleeping – before walking out of the room and into Anna's, immediately hushing into the air, letting her know he was there.

Once Anna hears Sebastian's voice, she seems to be assured and stops crying and screaming. Sebastian looks at her with a little sad expression in his eyes; he hates it whenever Anna – or Matt, for that matter – has nightmares that wake her up.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Sebastian pushes the light brown hair off the little girl's face. As he does so, Anna seems to start waking up from her dream, and Sebastian smiles down at her. "Hey baby girl" he says softly.

Anna grunts adorably and turns around, hiding her little face on her pillows, not wanting to wake up – even if she already had and it was unlikely for her to go back to sleep now. Sebastian chuckled at how cute it was and singsonged, "Anna", trying to wake her up. Sebastian peeked at her little face and as soon as she saw him, the little girl pretended to be asleep; her eyes shut too tight for her to actually be asleep. Smirking, Sebastian said dramatically, "Oh well, I guess if she's asleep then she won't be ticklish…", and he began tickling Anna's sides, producing a high-pitched cry from the four-year old that turned to a laugh as Sebastian kept moving his fingers at her sides. When the laugh became just a scream again, Sebastian stopped, afraid she might wake Kurt up, and hushed Anna into silence. Laughing out loud, Sebastian falsely sighed and, when Anna acted asleep again, he continued in fake disappointment. "Ow, I guess I will have to give Anna's surprise to someone else, then…" a smirk showing in his face.

Anna opened her eyes in a millisecond at that and stood up right in bed excitedly as fast as her tiny body allowed her to, yelling "No!" as she did so. At this, Sebastian laughed and stood up from bed, holding Anna from both of her hands as she jumped impatient and animatedly on the bed, suddenly completely awake. "No, dada! See? I'm awake! I'm awake! What's my surprise?" Anna asked with the usual slur of a four year old voice.

"Well…" Sebastian smiled down at her. "Guess who came back".

"Who came back?" Anna asked, still too happy.

"Oh, no, that's cheating! You have to guess!" Sebastian played along.

Anna thought for a few seconds, her small brow wrinkled adorably in deep thought. Then, her face lit up immediately with excitement and she yelled, "Daddy!", before she jumped off the bed, towards Sebastian.

He catches her, lifting her up in the air and she giggles. Bringing her down, he sets her on his hip, walking out of the room. "Yeah, baby girl! Daddy's here! Didn't I tell you he would?" He said and placed a kiss to the little girl's brow.

"Where is he?" Anna questioned, her brow a little furrowed again.

"He's in our room sleeping, honey" He answered.

"Well, can I wake him up?" She questioned, eyes brows raised.

"I think is better if we let him sleep for a little more, okay?" He explained and Anna's face fell a little with disappointment, lips together to the side, pouting a little. Looking at her face, he continued, "How about we go downstairs and we have something to eat, and we wait for him to wake up, huh?"

"Okay…" Her face lit up a little more, but still showed signs of let-down.

Looking at her, Sebastian insisted, trying to cheer up the little girl. "C'mon, I'll let you chose. What do you want for breakfast?"

Anna's face crumbled up in deep thought for a few seconds before deciding, and excitedly yelling, "Ice cream!"

Sebastian hushed her and laughed. "Ice cream?" He repeated with fake disbelief.

"Yes." Anna nodded her head along wildly.

"You can't have ice cream for _breakfast_! Ice cream is for dessert". He exclaimed with a smile on his face.

"Well, let's have dessert for breakfast, then!" The little girl offered, seeming like that was the most obvious choice.

Laughing, Sebastian nodded. "Okay. How about this? We have ice cream for breakfast…" He suggested, with Anna's face lighting up in anticipation. "… _and_ we have it with…" He paused, aware of Anna's waiting, smiling to himself. "…Pancakes!" He finished.

"Yeah!" Anna yelled happily, clapping her hands together, and Sebastian hushing her, smiling, making Anna say a whispered "sorry" in response.

Sebastian chuckled as he reached the kitchen and from the table he dragged a chair to put in front of the sink. "Wash your hands first" he ordered Anna, rolling up her sleeves, opening the faucet, and setting Anna of the chair.

When she was done, Sebastian turned the water off and dried her hands, putting the chair now in front of the countertop, setting Anna on it so she could reach the worktop. "Okay, now" He started, taking two eggs from the refrigerator and placing them in front of Anna. "I am going to wake up your brother… think you can crack these and stir them while I go?" He continued as he grabbed a plastic bowl from a cupboard, a fork from a drawer, and setting both in front of Anna as well. She answers by a simple nod of her head – already too concentrated in the task - and Sebastian leaves the kitchen and goes up the stairs to Matt's bedroom.

Sebastian assumes the boy is still sleeping, but even so he knocks the door before pushing it open.

It was true; Matthew was sleeping, face down, left leg hanging from the side of his bed.

Sebastian smiled and approached the bed, sitting on it next to his son. "Matt" He said, shaking the boy slightly. He grunted and turned away, continuing to sleep. "C'mon, Matt, wake up". When silence followed, Sebastian insisted. "Matt" He said in a more warningly tone. A grumble of "Okay, Okay, I'm awake" left the boy's mouth and only then Sebastian stated, "Your dad is here, buddy".

At this, Matt turned immediately, eyes wide – yet filled with sleep – and looked at Sebastian before looking around his room, confusion in his eyes when he didn't see Kurt there.

"He's sleeping" Sebastian explained.

"Oh…" Matthew said with slight disappointment.

Sebastian padded his leg two times and stood from the bed. "C'mon, your sister and I are making pancakes. Wash up and come downstairs, okay?"

"Mmhm" Came as response in agreement, but Matt stayed in bed as he stretched out and Sebastian left the room.

Making his way back downstairs, Sebastian smiled to himself, thinking how he used to be just like that when he was a teenager; slept like a log.

Entering the kitchen, he noticed Anna is mixing the eggs in the bowl and turns around when she hears Sebastian approaching. "Look, dada I did it!" She exclaimed proudly.

"Great job! Give me five!" Sebastian congratulated, lifting his hand and Anna left the fork in the bowl before bumping her opened hand against Sebastian's.

"Okay, now." Sebastian clapped his own hands together and grabbed the rest of the ingredients needed and setting them on the countertop while Anna looked at him. "We are ready to start" He announced, putting down the last ingredient. He settled behind Anna and grabbed the milk, indicating her to fill one and a quarter cup of it. "Now, I need you to put here three spoonfuls of butter, okay?" He indicated, bringing another plastic bowl closer to them and Anna said "okay" in return, putting herself right to the task asked.

Just as she was finishing, Matthew entered the kitchen, still sleepy, but his hairline shone because of the water there: a showing sign that he washed his face.

"You wanna help?" Sebastian offered and the boy nodded. "Here, put this-" He ordered, giving him the bowl with butter. "-twenty seconds in the microwave." When Matthew closed the door, Sebastian added, "Don't let it reach zero so it won't wake up your dad, ok?"

"Okay dad." He answered as he pressed the buttons.

Placing a sifter on top of a bigger bowl, Sebastian helped Anna to sieve the flour and baking powder. The powder flew into the air when the microwave gave two high beeps, surprising Sebastian and – literally – making him jump. Turning around, Sebastian exclaimed, "Matt! What did I just tell you?"

"I'm sorry… I didn't realize it was down to zero" Matthew apologized, sorry in his eyes.

Sebastian looked down at himself and Anna and couldn't help the laugh that left his mouth as he took in the image: Both he and Anna were covered slightly in a thin layer of flour. Soon, both kids joined in and afterwards. When Matthew came back with the butter, Anna finished putting in the flour and Sebastian let Matthew add the salt and sugar.

"Now comes the fun part!" Sebastian announced with a smile. "We-" He started, drawing the bowl a little closer. "-are going to make a little hole here." He continued, pushing the mix apart with his fingers to start.

"Like a volcano?" Matthew asked enthusiastically, eyes wider.

"Yeah, like a volcano." The man turned to look at his son. "C'mon, help your sister while I look for the pan". Sebastian moved to get the pan and set it over the stove and the boy moved to work on the mixture together with Anna.

The clock on the wall indicated it was now 11:05AM now, and neither three of them were aware of Kurt sliding down the stairs and standing at the door frame, just watching them work on the breakfast.

-O-

Kurt woke up for a second time as two beeps burst through the house and the sound of mumbling came from downstairs. Stirring in bed, Kurt sprawled in bed, stretching his muscles and then stayed still, staring at the ceiling, too tired to get up just yet. A small gasp left his lips involuntarily as the memories from the night before came rushing back, all at once. He found himself smiling up at the ceiling a little bit at the thoughts.

Still with these thoughts in mind, Kurt came to the realization that the other side of the bed felt rather cold; Sebastian was not there. The clock read 10:43AM by now and Kurt wondered why Sebastian had gotten up so early, and then he remembered Anna's crying before and Sebastian going to her room after leaving a kiss on Kurt's temple.

The memory brought a bigger smile to his face and he turned in bed, hugging his pillow, feeling stupidly happy. In silence, Kurt listened carefully, trying to make out any noise that would inform him of the other man's presence. When the laugh from Sebastian, followed by Matt's and Anna's that came from downstairs reached his ears, his smile widened even more and got up from bed and walked to the bathroom to clean himself up and take the last of sleep from his face.

Talking was still going on as Kurt reached the kitchen and stood by the door, just looking at the other three work on what seemed like pancaked – if the pan and the few ingredients at his sight were any clue.

Sebastian was turning on the burner, putting the pan on top, and Kurt slid forward, scaring all three of them when he greeted the kids with a happy, "Hi, guys!"

"Daddy!" Both Anna and Matthew yelled in unison and both left whatever they were doing to turn around and hug their dad; the chair a little uncomfortable in the middle but neither of them cared.

After hugging them and giving each a kiss, he turned to find Sebastian closer, waiting for him. Kurt walked forward towards his husband and kissed him on the mouth, emitting a "eww" from the two kids, and a giggle from Anna as Sebastian and Kurt separated with an eye roll and he turned to look at the two of them.

"They wouldn't exist if it weren't from their 'eww's!'" Sebastian exclaimed low enough in order for only Kurt to hear, using quotation marks with his fingers.

Kurt laughed and walked back to where Anna and Matthew were. "So, what are we making?" He peeked at the ingredients, proving he guessed right on what they were cooking before.

"Pancakes!" Both kids yelled together, which provoked a chuckle from both men in the kitchen.

"Okay…" Kurt said simply and begun helping Anna and Matthew just like Sebastian had a moment before – if only with a little more action into it as he couldn't resist the urge of cooking.

"Daddy, where were you?" Anna asked all of a sudden, innocently.

"I-" Kurt started, but stopped, not knowing how to continue. "I was… uhm… Daddy had to go somewhere where he forgot something… but don't worry about it, okay, honey?" Kurt finished, knowing he wasn't being convincing.

"Okay…" Anna responded, apparently pleased with his answer.

Suddenly, Matthew came forward and hugged his dad again, the action not noticed by Anna. Kurt's arms were in the air, taken by the surprise of the hug.

"I missed you, dad". The boy whispered against Kurt's body, trying to hold back the tears. Kurt's face filled with sadness at his son's confession and he lowered his arms to hug him back.

"I've missed you too, buddy". Kurt said back to him.

"I want to hug too!" Anna exclaimed when she took notice of what was happening.

With a sniff and laugh from Kurt, he pulled the little girl up and looked at his husband in invitation to the hug. Sebastian turned off the fire and went towards Kurt.

"Daddy, why are you crying?" Anna asked with concert in her voice, wiping with a tiny hand at Kurt's cheek, where a tear was falling.

"Oh, I'm just happy, honey." Kurt assured her, giving another sniff.

"Is it because you're home?" Anna asked her face not changing.

"Yeah, because I'm home…" Kurt responded as he pulled Matt back into a hug, as well as Sebastian, and all four of them hugged each other.

After a moment they separated, and Sebastian went back to the pan (turning the stove on once more) as Kurt, Matt and Anna finished mixing all the ingredients together.

Sebastian stared at the three of them with a smile on his face as the pan heated up again, admiring his family. He still couldn't believe it was his. He still couldn't believe Kurt was with him; let alone Matt and little Anna – even though she was getting bigger and bigger every day as well as her brother. And to think he didn't want to get married and have kids when he was younger. At this, he wondered what would happen with Blaine and Kurt. Would Kurt choose Blaine again? He really couldn't tell. Sebastian didn't want to think about it; he wanted to believe that Kurt will always love him – and only him – and he would never leave him because they were both just _so happy and in love._ But the truth was, there was a chance of Kurt not choosing him, and despite wanting to force himself into not doing so, Sebastian couldn't help but wonder _what if_.

"Is the pan ready, honey?" Kurt asked, snapping him out of his thoughts. Everything was blurry, and only then he realized there were tears in his eyes. Turning around so no one would see him, Sebastian gruffly said "yes" and brought his hands to his eyes and wiped away the tears, taking a deep breath.

"Why don't you guys start setting up the table?" Kurt offered, brows furrowed at Sebastian's tone. Something was wrong. As the kids walked to the table, setting it up just like they were asked, Kurt walked towards Sebastian, wrapping his arms around his waist. "What's wrong?" He whispered, leaning his forehead against Sebastian's nape.

He knew Kurt would see right through him, but still he answered "Nothing…" his voice more normal now.

"Sebastian…" Kurt said in a cautionary tone, knowing the man was lying to him.

"It's nothing, love… don't worry about it." Sebastian assured. At the endearment, Kurt's stomach did a flip; Sebastian only rarely called him that, but when he did, it send – as cliché as it may sound – butterflies to Kurt's belly.

Kurt decided to drop the topic, knowing that even if he pushed further, Sebastian wouldn't open up – not now in front of the kids anyway. Maybe when they are alone…

Placing a kiss to Sebastian's nape, Kurt walked to where Matthew and Anna were, finishing to set the table and lifting Anna up in his arms, he walked closer to the stove with Matthew by his side and each took a turn into scooping and pouring the last of the mix to the lightly oiled pan; Sebastian putting a new small piece of butter in the pan whenever a pancake was taken out to keep it greased.

When all eight pancakes were ready, Kurt and Anna grabbed the syrup and milk from the refrigerator (Kurt putting some water to boil for him and Sebastian to have coffee instead); Sebastian and Matt went to grab the ice cream from the freezer.

All four of them sat at the table and begun eating their breakfast, making small talk and telling each other about different anecdotes and stories, laughing along.

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**A/N: Ahhh It's done! I can't believe it!**

**And HA! So much for trying to make this shorter than the last! Sorry? :S**

**Well this chapter… uhm… it **_**wasn't**_** supposed to be ANYTHING like this…**

**ORIGINALLY, it started with (***SPOILER ALERT FOR NEXT CHAPTER AHEAD, BE WARNED***) Blaine being in his hotel, deciding whether or not to call Kurt… and Kurt waking up and cooking lunch. **

**BUT. I started filling in little by little other things like Seb telling Anna Kurt was home and things like that and one thing led to another and I ended up writing more than 3k words so I separated the chapters…**

**Well, anyway! It's done… although I'm not that happy with the ending… I just didn't know how to end it and I just ASDFGHJKL'd (yes. ASDFGHJKL'd):/**

**Well, thank you guys for everything! I hope that now that school's almost over I will have more time to write this!**

**Also, again, I spent hours trying to think of a title for this and i just can't.**

**And, it's 2:30am so sorry if any mistakes! D:**


	8. Our bridges burned down

**A/N: OH. MY. GOD. I'm sorry this took so long! Is just that I'm on holidays (yay) and I don't have as much free time as before and updating this has been KILLING ME for the past couple of weeks! :S**

**Again, thanks for all the story alerts! They mean a lot to me! :D**

**And, here is Chapter 8:**

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**Chapter 8:**

Blaine sits on his bed staring at the hotel's white telephone that lies currently on his lap. He's been like this for twenty minutes now (and fifteen more, earlier, before going to the bathroom and then resuming his position again, continuing to wait), deciding whether or not to dial the number painted on his palm. Blaine glances at the clock. 12:53. _Maybe he's still sleeping, _he thinks. _He always was a morning person, though_. His mind contradicts itself. He has been like this since he woke up: making a decision, only to contradict it himself afterward over and over again, never deciding what to do. Grunting in frustration, Blaine slumps backwards on the bed.

With a sigh, he sits up again, leaves the phone on the bedside table as it used to be and gets up from the bed, walking to the minibar and getting a water bottle from it. Even with the phone now on top of the nightstand, Blaine still wonders if calling Kurt is a good idea. _Well, he did give you his number, right? Why would he give it to you if he didn't want you to call? _He raised an eyebrow and tilted his head to the side slightly at that, considering the thought. _Maybe he was just doing it because he felt awkward, but didn't actually want you to call him…_

With a groan, Blaine leaves the water bottle on the table and runs his hands through his hair in frustration. When he opens his eyes again, a coin next to the bottle catches his attention. Maybe it isn't the best solution, but it will do.

Grabbing the coin, Blaine goes to sit on his bed again and turns the coin between his fingers, looking at it. "This is stupid" He mutters out loud and drops the coin on the mattress, covering his face on his hands and supporting his elbows on his knees**.**

With a sigh, he stands up yet again and walks to where his laptop is and sits down on the chair in front of it. Maybe browsing through the internet would clear his mind a little bit.

Blaine is scrolling, not even reading what shows on the laptop screen, too preoccupied still thinking what he should do. He drops his head on the table, his mind still torturing him.

Opening his eyes, he looks at his laptop screen and a picture catches his attention. Sitting up, he clicks on it and reads the message on it:

"_When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you, but because in that brief moment when the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you are hoping for."_

The timing for the photo to come up seems completely surreal for him and he looks back at the coin on the bed and he stares at it still in disbelief. "I must be insane" He mutters to himself as he rises up from the chair and walks back to the bed and sits on it, grabbing the coin again.

"Heads, I call him; tails, I don't." He decides confident, and with a sigh and a nod he pushes the coin upwards with his thumb, throwing it up in the air.

If it is heads, Blaine will call Kurt. He will hear from him again, and they would most likely arrange on a day to meet again. Blaine will see Kurt again. Of course, it would not be like the old days, but they would be spending time together talking; catching up. Blaine could ask about Sebastian again, determined to know why Kurt moved on. Maybe they could talk about Kurt's - and Sebastian's – children. And maybe – just maybe – they could talk about _them. _Blaine would get so many answers, if only the coin landed heads up.

But, if the coin landed on tails, Blaine would not be calling Kurt anytime soon, following whatever the coin said, seeing he himself was nowhere near making the decision by himself. Kurt would not be calling him, seeing as he didn't have any way of reaching Blaine. If it was tails, Blaine would not have to talk to Kurt, and – while he wanted to know about Kurt - that would avoid talking about the last seven years from Blaine's point of view. He didn't want to remember. Everything was just too fresh in his mind; he wouldn't be able to talk about it just yet.

The coin landing on his hands brought him back to reality.

He already made his decision and knows what the hopes the coin landed as.

Closing his eyes, Blaine takes a big breath and takes his hand on top of the coin away. Slowly, he opens his eyes and stares at the coin, a breathe leaving his mouth.

Tails.

He looks at it in disbelief, still not grasping the fact that he won't talk to Kurt. A feeling of disappointment settles inside him and a frown appears on his face.

Closing his hand into a fist, trapping the coin inside it, Blaine decides to ignore what the coin decided and he grabs the phone back from the nightstand, pulling it on top of his lap again.

Blaine puts the handset in between his right shoulder and ear, opens his left hand and with the other he starts dialling the number that is already a little blurred since last night. Not the first ring sounds before he slams the handset down on the phone, eyes wide open, as a thought strikes him: _What if Sebastian answers?_

Taking a few deep breaths, Blaine resumes to his last position, dialling the number again. _I can't keep going like this, dammit! If Sebastian answers well, then… tough._ He grabs the handset tightly and straightness his back, marking the number all over again. His leg starts jumping up and down frantically from nerves as the phone rings and he waits.

After the fourth ring, Blaine is about to hang up. _Maybe they were sleeping after all_. But just as he was about to pull the receiver away, a voice sounds from the other end.

"_Hello?"_

-O-

With breakfast served and eaten, Anna and Matthew both go to the backyard to play. Their yells and laughs fill the air as Sebastian and Kurt clean the table and the dishes together in silence, neither willing to bring up last night's topic. Kurt didn't want Sebastian to bring up Blaine; and Sebastian didn't want Kurt to bring up why he started crying that morning.

After they were finished, Sebastian went outside to play with the kids to whatever game they decided upon. Leaning on the counter table with both hands, Kurt smiled and looked outside through the window before glancing at the clock. 12:37AM. He should start making launch soon. They just finished eating and he is not hungry himself, but he knows how Matthew is when it comes to food: always hungry. Sebastian is the same, for that matter. If he didn't know better, Kurt would still think Sebastian was still a teenager who eats non-stop and never gets enough.

Seeing they just had breakfast, Kurt thinks on what food he could make that wouldn't be so heavy for them, finally deciding on making a salad, as well as smashed potatoes and chicken nuggets for the kids.

Putting the potatoes in boiling water, Kurt proceeds to prepare the salad. The clock is slowly ticking by as he cooks, and soon enough Kurt is nearly finishing with launch when the phone rings.

Kurt looks up from the casserole he's stirring at the noise. There is a second ringand

Kurt sighs, whispering a low, "dammit!", looking down at the casserole - seeing he can't stop moving the spoon now. As Matthew enters the kitchen, Kurt asks, "Hey Matt, can you answer that? I can't-" He doesn't get to finish talking as another ring sounds.

As the fourth ring is starting, Matthew gets enough time to get to the phone and manages to answer it just as the ring is ending.

"Hello?"

-O-

Blaine freezes as someone answers the phone. With just that simple 'hello' Blaine is definitely certain that Kurt was not the one who answered and he doesn't know how to react.

"_Hello?"_ The voice repeats again.

Apparently Blaine froze for too long, as he doesn't get the chance to introduce himself before he hears the line going dead.

-O-

"Who was that?" Kurt asks, looking at Matthew over his shoulder as he re-enters the kitchen. At the same time, Sebastian, carrying Anna, comes inside from the backyard, setting the girl on a chair.

"I don't know" The boy answers shrugging. "There was no answer." He adds.

Not giving it much attention, Kurt continues what he was doing. Sebastian grabs a few drinks from the refrigerator and serves himself a glass, as well as a little in a small plastic cup for Anna.

-O-

Once again, Blaine is back to the same problem as before and debates whether or not to call again. He runs a hand through his hair and his sight lands on the coin he flipped before that he left on the bedside table. _"You suddenly know what you are hoping for"_ Blaine goes over the line.

Picking up again the phone, he dials the number yet once more and waits for someone to pick up.

"_Hello?"_ A different voice asks this time.

The different voice causes Blaine to freeze again. Despite thinking he would be able to answer this time, the panic that settles within him proves the contrary. Still, Blaine forces himself to answer back this time.

"Uhm… Hi…" voice slightly awkward. "Is- is Kurt there?" He asks as nerves take over him. "I- I'm Blaine." He adds, stuttering a little and cursing himself for doing so.

Blaine hears a sharp, deep breath being taken in on the other end.

-O-

Just as he finishes his drink, the phone rings again. This time, Sebastian is the one that answers it.

"Hello?"

When the person on the other hand answers, Sebastian freezes a little bit, taking a deep breath. "Hi… _Blaine" _He replies, teeth clenched together and putting emphasis on the name. Kurt's eyes go wide at the mention of the name and he quickly turns off the stove and cleans his hands on a dishcloth as he walks fast towards Sebastian, meal forgotten. But Sebastian keeps talking to Blaine, as if not taking notice of this. "It's me, Sebastian…"

"_Oh, hey Sebastian" _Blaine answers from the other end, voice clearly awkward. After a small silence, he adds _"How- how are you?"_

Kurt reaches Sebastian and is now trying to take the phone away from him, but Sebastian keeps him away with the hand that is not currently holding the phone, and he inclines his elbow to make it harder for Kurt to take it away from him.

"I'm fine, Blaine. How about you?" Sebastian continues, with fake interest, while still sounding the opposite.

Kurt is fighting against his hold to take the phone away from him.

"I-I'm good, thanks I-" Blaine doesn't really want to talk to Sebastian right now, but he has no choice. He stops when he hears murmurs of '_Sebastian, give it to me'_ and _'I'm being serious, c'mon!'_ "S- Sebastian?" Blaine adds, confused at the background noises.

Kurt managed to take the phone away from Sebastian and Blaine can hear from the other end that Kurt is saying, "_I told you to give it to me",_ voice muffled (probably by him trying to hold a hand on top of the speaker) and continuing, _"go check on the food_, please_"_.

"Blaine, hi! Sorry about that. How are you?" Kurt apologizes as a worried Sebastian goes back to the kitchen.

"Yeah, no- no worries… I'm good, thanks. What about you?" Blaine's nerves are still there as well as the awkwardness set from the conversation he overheard, feeling as if he eavesdropped.

"I'm great." Kurt answers and as a new silence is formed – if only for only a few seconds – Kurt carries on, "So, what's up? Why did you call?"

"Oh, uhm-" Blaine is taken a little bit by surprise as he kind of forgot in the distraction that another person besides Kurt answered the phone, and not only that but that it was Sebastian himself.

"_Kurt! I think this is ready"_ Sebastian comes from a clearly large distance, somewhere in the house, interrupting Blaine mid-sentence.

"Just a sec!" Kurt yells back, not bothering to hold the phone too far from his mouth as he does so, forcing Blaine to push the receiver a little away from his ear. Blaine puts it back to his ear when the yell is not heard anymore, just in time to listen to Kurt say, _"Sorry, what were you saying?"_

"Oh, uhm…" Blaine is again lost for words and he shakes his head a little before deciding. "You know if- if you can't talk right now, I- Kurt?" Blaine frowned as he could sense Kurt was not listening.

Kurt was signing Sebastian to wait, that he would be over soon, as Sebastian had signed him to hurry, that food was apparently ready. The mention of his name caught his attention and he turned from Sebastian to pay full attention to Blaine. "Sorry. What?"

"That if you couldn't talk right now, it's okay… I- I can call you later?" He repeated uncertainty in his voice.

"What? Hey no, c'mon what is it?" Something inside of Kurt didn't want to stop talking to Blaine just yet. After so many years apart, he felt he needed to be – if only on the phone – with him, even if they saw each other and talked just last night.

Blaine knew that Kurt was probably still being called by Sebastian. "Nothing too important, really…" He lied. "Just- I'll call you later ok?"

Not convinced but with Blaine's awkwardness clear, Kurt answered, "Okay, but you promise you'll call, right?"

"Yeah… bye, Kurt" Blaine said goodbye quickly, feeling uncomfortable and wanting to finish the conversation.

"Bye" Kurt managed to get out just as the line went dead.

-O-

When Kurt approached Sebastian, he asked "What did he want?" forced kindness in his voice, as well as a fake smile on his face.

With a small frown still on his face, Kurt answered, "He didn't say, he said he'll call later…"

A moment of tension fell between the two of them and Sebastian decided to break it. "Are you-?"

"Seb, no, Stop." Kurt interrupted. "We're not talking about it, okay?"

"You didn't even know what I was going to say!" Sebastian exclaimed, gesturing with his hands.

"Yes, I did. Now, we are not talking about it." Kurt decided.

"Kurt, we have to-"

"Sebastian!" Kurt interrupted again. "I told you no!" He continued exasperated.

"Kurt! Can you stop pretending that everything is fine when it's so clearly not?!" Sebastian raised his voice, getting angry.

Matching his tone, Kurt shot back, "I'm not! Will you just-"

Kurt was broken up by Matthew, who had been noticed by neither Sebastian nor Kurt, and was standing by the door with Anna. Between the shouting of the two adults, he spoke up, yelling too, "Stop!"

At his voice, Kurt turned around, anger quickly replaced by surprise. His eyes, as well as Sebastian's – which had roamed towards the door, but not moving his body in doing so -, were widened at the shout and at the sight that they found.

Matthew had a frown on his face and even looked angry. His hands here covering Anna's ears and her face was crumbled with confusion.

Sebastian, Kurt and Matthew were all breathing a little harsher than normal as they stared at each other.

Sebastian took a deep breath and started walking towards the door where Matthew and Anna were still standing, not moving – except for Matthew moving his hands from Anna's ears and placing them on her chest, holding her close to him; protecting her. "Later" Sebastian whispered to Kurt, tone severe.

"No" Kurt whispered back, tone harsher.

"Guys! Do you want to help dada finish setting up the table?" Sebastian ignored Kurt, placing a smile on his face.

Anna broke off of Matthew's hold, excitedly yelling "Yeah!" and jumping to Sebastian's arms.

"What about you, Matt? You coming?" Sebastian asked Matthew with the little girl on his arms.

Matthew didn't answer. Instead he stared sternly at Sebastian with a frown still on his face, before looking the same way at Kurt and, without a word, he went inside to his room, ignoring the, "Matt!" Kurt yelled in order to stop him as he was leaving the kitchen.

As Sebastian grabs four napkins and gives them to Anna, a door being slammed is heard from upstairs and Kurt and Sebastian look at each other, still not sharing another word.

Setting Anna on the floor, Sebastian walks with her hand in hand outside to set up the table outside.

Kurt looks through the window as they walk and drops his head down, holding himself up on with his arms stretched out and hands on the countertop, grasping it tightly.

Anna's voice makes Kurt look up again, with a pained expression taking over his face.

"Papa, were you and daddy fighting?" Anna asks innocently and Kurt feels a sharp sting in his heart at the question.

Taken by surprise, Sebastian finds it a little hard to answer, but he still does. "No baby girl…" He lies. "Sometimes…" He tries to explain "Uhm… Sometimes… adults have little disagreements, you know? Just like when you and Sarah disagree on which dress is the prettiest" Sarah was one of Anna's friends. Her parents lived a few houses down, and were friends with Sebastian and Kurt. Anna nodded a little, as she understood what his dad was explaining to her.

"Don't worry about it, okay?"

Convinced, Anna answers, "Okay, dada…"

As Sebastian and Anna set the table, Kurt finishes serving food in different recipients.

Not exchanging a single word with Kurt, Sebastian goes back inside only to grab a couple of sodas to put at the table while Kurt carries the food there.

Sebastian breaks the silence, with a cold tone, not even looking at Kurt while talking. "I'm going to call Matt" he starts walking and can basically feel Kurt about to protest, and he adds "you guys start without us or it will get cold". With that, he walks inside the house, to Matthew's room.

* * *

**A/N: WELL **_**THAT'S**_** DONE! Asdfghjkl sigh.**

**Ok. So. I've been told to change the story to Kurtbastian because, basically, having it as Klaine was bullshit. Truth is, I never planned on making it SO MUCH Kurtbastian in the first place… the story made a 180° plot twist midway through it and I'm sorry… but tbh if I change it to Kurtbastian, then on Klaine scenes people will make the same judgement about the story "not being Kurtbastian at all"… so I'm gonna leave it as Klaine for now, and change it when the story is done, if it ends up being Kurtbastian… Just for the record, if you don't like it, you don't need to read it ****obviously.**

**ANYWAY. Thank you guys so much for reading, reviewing, favouring, and, also, being patient! :S **

**Let me know what you thought of this one!**

**Until next time!**


	9. Kiss Me Goodbye

**A/N: OH. MY. GOD. I AM SO SORRY. ASHBAHF This has taken me so long to finish! These holidays are really holding me back, so I apologize!**

**I had this chapter done for a while now but I had no internet connection for 3 weeks so I'm uploading it now that it came back… Although having no internet meant that I had time to write more so yeah… I really don't know what to say besides sorry (again) :S SO here it is, finally! Chapter 9.**

**Also, I forgot to put this in every other chapter?**

**DISCLAIMER:**** I do not own Glee or anything related to it.**

* * *

**Chapter 9:**

Sebastian walked into the house and headed towards Matthew's bedroom. The anger inside him left him as he approached it and he composed himself before knocking on the door and opening it, walking inside.

Matthew was lying face down on his bed, looking at the door when Sebastian entered the room and closed the door gently behind him. The boy kept looking at his dad as he approached the bed and sat down on it. For a moment they only looked at each other without saying anything, but Matthew eventually broke the stare by turning and lying on his side with his back to Sebastian.

"Lunch is ready." He announced softly. When he got no reply, Sebastian sing-songed, "It's your favourite…" A small smile showed on his face as an attempt of trying to convince the boy.

"Not hungry." His son responded simply and the man's smile immediately fell.

"C'mon, Matt…" Sebastian insisted, placing his hand on the boy's shoulder and shaking him lightly.

Shrugging his dad off, Matthew mumbled, frustration noticeable in his voice, "I told you: I'm not hungry. And I don't want to go downstairs."

Sighing, Sebastian removed his hand and shifted in his place. "Talk to me".

When the boy remained silent, Sebastian persisted. "C'mon, Matt, talk to me."

"I don't _want_ to talk!" Matthew answered exasperated as he turned around, lying on his other side and looking at Sebastian. "Just go away dad!"

The man's eyebrows rose slightly in surprise at his son's response. Matthew was not one for raising his voice; even less to his parents. Looking at the boy's eyes, Sebastian could see there was the faint sign of tears. "Matt, what's the matter?"

For a few seconds, the boy stares at Sebastian before he sighs and sits up a little on his bed. "I- I heard dad talking on the phone…" He begins, voice low, dropping his gaze, suddenly interested on a loose thread on his duvet. "That- that _man_, who is he?"

Taken aback, Sebastian finds it hard to respond, but soon enough he starts explaining and Matthew looks at him again. "That man used to be your dad's boyfriend when they were in high school. He- uhm- His name was- is- His name is Blaine." Sebastian finds it hard to find the right words to describe the entire situation to his son. How could he explain this to a kid? Should he be completely honest? Matthew was only ten years old for Christ sakes! Taking a deep breath, Sebastian continued cautiously "When they finished school, he decided to go to the army and one day your dad- he received a letter saying that Blaine had been- had been killed during war…" Sebastian forced the words out of his mouth. If it were up to him, he would choose to not tell the story to anyone; it was bad enough as it was already, having to deal with the situation itself. It was worse having to explain it without even knowing fully what had happened in the first place. But his son had the right to at least know. "A few years later-" He continued, abbreviating the story. "I come across your dad again – you see, we've met in high school as well-" he explains. At Matthew's surprised expression, he adds with a small smile on his lips: "I'll tell you that one later, okay?" And the boy nods, so Sebastian continues, "And well, now he's back, for some reason…"

"How can that be possible?" Matthew asks in a low voice and a frown on his face.

"I don't know, son… there must have been a- a mistake when they sent that letter, I don't- I don't really know" Sebastian looked at his feet as he replied. Part of him was trying to reason with an explanation itself, given that Kurt never gave him one himself.

There are a few moments of silence where Sebastian goes over his thoughts, and Matthew resumes tugging at the thread on his duvet.

"I'm sorry" The boy speaks softly, breaking the silence.

Sebastian's head snaps up and he frowns at the statement. "Why?" he asks.

Looking up at his dad, Matthew answers, "For being angry?" his reply sounding like another question itself and his voice almost a whisper.

"Why were you angry?"

The only response his son gives him is a shrug of his shoulders, so Sebastian sighs and without breaking eye contact, he says: "Listen. I know it sounds weird and all this doesn't really make sense to you but you don't need to worry okay, Matt? It's normal for you to be angry over this. If you want, we can talk about it in more detail afterwards, yeah?" After Matthew nods, he continues, "But right now we should probably head back downstairs because your dad must be fuming over lunch getting cold, ok?"

"Yeah, okay." Matthew agrees with a chuckle.

"Oh, and Matt?" Sebastian says as they walk towards the door.

"Yeah?" The boy turns around.

"You don't have to be sorry" He tells, giving a smile to his son and he returns it. Matthew gives his dad a hug before both of them walk back downstairs and out to the table.

-o-

No words had been exchanged between Kurt as Sebastian that evening. In the same fashion, they took every dish from the backyard table to the kitchen in order to clean them – as well as the table and the kitchen itself.

Neither of them wanted to break the silence. But the longer they spent without talking, the more the tension between them grew. And with it, so did Sebastian's irritation.

Angrily, Sebastian washed the plates and placed them on the dish dryer. When he finished, he dried his hands on the dishcloth and then proceeded to throw it on top of the countertop. Not really thinking he could bear another minute of the silent tension, he went to his upstairs, taking two steps at a time.

Going into his bedroom, he flopped on his bed and closed his eyes in an attempt of calming himself down but upon realizing that it wasn't really helping, Sebastian sat up and scooted closer to the headboard before picking the book on his nightstand and opening it on the page marked, and begun to read where he had left off.

Not five pages were turned when Kurt walked in the room. Sebastian spared a quick glance at the other man while he was not looking, facing the door and closing it instead. The moment Kurt turned back around, Sebastian quickly continued to stare at the book he was now pretending to read.

Initially, Kurt just stayed there, leaning on the closed door, looking at Sebastian, but eventually he pushed himself off the door and started walking towards the bed.

"Seb…" The man said when Sebastian didn't look up at his approach.

Sebastian lowered the book and placed it, open, on his chest and looked up at Kurt as a response, but he didn't mutter a word.

They stayed like that for a moment; only staring at each other. Even as Kurt lowered himself down and sat at the edge of the bed, neither broke eye contact with the other.

"I'm sorry" Kurt admitted finally and looks briefly at the floor before looking up again at Sebastian, who remained silent. Due to this, Kurt decided to take a deep breath and continue. "I'm sorry for earlier; I shouldn't have snapped like that I was just… I don't even know what I was; I still don't know why I snapped and yelled at you. You did nothing wrong, I- I overreacted. And I'm sorry… for everything in general; for running off after Blaine when I saw him without an explanation." He confessed breathless towards the end, before he gasped for more air and continued his rambling, now unable to stop it and tears forming in his eyes. "I'm sorry for being such a bad person, and even more, such a bad husband to you and a bad father for the kids." Sebastian was about to refute his statement, but Kurt left him no time as he carried on with his apologies, taking another deep breath when necessary before proceeding. "I'm sorry for not talking to you, for not telling you anything, for turning my head and avoiding the clear problem we have here and pretending everything was and is fine when it is clearly not. I'm sorry for- for _everything_" The man managed to get out these last words before a sob broke through him and he began crying.

Sebastian was immediate to react and pull himself up - book falling from his chest to the floor, forgotten - wrapping his arms around Kurt and rubbing his hand up and down the other's back as he hid his face on the crook of Sebastian's neck and continued to cry.

"Shh" He comforted. "It's okay…" Sebastian told, guilty for making Kurt feel like this in the first place. Was he mad for Kurt avoiding discussing Blaine's return? Of course he was. But he never meant for Kurt to feel like he was a horrible person because of it.

The taller man lowers back on bed, pulling Kurt down as well, on top of him, as he continues to hold him while the other man cries.

Both men lay there, Sebastian's hand still caressing Kurt's arm softly, even after he stopped crying. Moments of silence later, Sebastian breaks it by speaking gently. "You're not a horrible person". At this, Kurt props himself up and looks down at Sebastian as he continues. "You're not a horrible husband" He states, placing a kiss to the corner of Kurt's mouth. "And you are not a horrible father, Kurt. You are the best I've ever met of those three. And I'm sorry too." He apologised, resting their foreheads together. "I'm sorry for rushing you into this-" Sebastian pulled back to stare at Kurt. "-I know it's a lot to take in and I can't even imagine how hard all of this is for you right now… So, I'm sorry."

This time it was Kurt who leaned in and pressed their lips together sweetly. "I love you" He whispered over Sebastian's mouth.

"I love you too" The taller man responded before connecting their lips together again one last time before Kurt laid back down, his head on top of Sebastian's chest and both men fell, slowly, asleep.

Sebastian didn't say a word about it, but until he slipped to unconsciousness, he couldn't help but keep worrying about the subject.

-O-

It was later that afternoon that Sebastian continued to sleep while Kurt got up to cook dinner, when the phone rang and Kurt found himself relieved to answer it to hear it was Blaine calling.

"Hi! You called back!" He told excitedly.

"Yeah, I said I would, didn't I?" Blaine answered with a smile and a small laugh at the end.

"Yeah… yeah, you did" Kurt smiled.

After a moment of silence, Kurt asked. "So, what did you wanted to talk about?"

"Actually, uhm… I didn't want to talk to you over the phone… So I uhm- I called you to- to ask you if you wanted to, maybe, join me over coffee? To talk, I mean…" Blaine stuttered his response and cursed himself for doing so. He didn't want to sound as if he was asking Kurt on a date.

"Uhm, yeah, sure. When can you meet?" He answered, amused by Blaine's stutter, but not making any mention of it.

"To be honest, I don't have any plans, so whenever you can, really…"

"Well, tomorrow's Sunday, so I don't think I'm going to be able to meet, really… And then the whole week I have work and I get off quite late, so I don't think that's a good idea either?" He explains, trying to figure out which day may be convenient for them, with a slight apologetic tone. He remembered his and Sebastian's anniversary was that Friday. For some reason Kurt decides not to tell this to Blaine. "Well, I guess it will have to be next Saturday? Can you make it?" He concluded.

"Yeah, of course! Where do you want to meet?" Blaine was a little upset they wouldn't be able to meet before, but he covered his disappointment, seeing as there was no other solution to the problem, really.

After Kurt gave him the address and directions on how to get there, Blaine gave a number where Kurt would be able to contact him just in case before they said their goodbye's and Kurt hung up the phone, then proceeded to make dinner unaware of the smile constantly plastered on his face.

Nearly an hour later, a pair of arms rounded his waist and Sebastian rested his chin on Kurt's shoulder, saying "hi" in a groggily voice.

"Sleep well?" Kurt asked with a small laugh.

"Yeah, but I didn't wake up as good, though." Sebastian answered, closing his eyes.

"Why not?" Kurt turned around to face him and frowning a little.

Placing a kiss to the other's cheek, the taller man smiled at his own reply as he said, "You were not there".

"Well, aren't you cheesy?" Kurt laughed as he continued preparing the last things for dinner. "I think that nap might have affected your wiring, mister" he announced over his shoulder.

A gasp makes Kurt turn around and look at Sebastian. "Mister? Ouch" the man huffs, placing a hand over his chest in fake offense. He doesn't last long and an amused expression makes its way to his face.

"Oh, you're an actor now, too, are you?" Kurt laughs and goes to place a kiss to Sebastian's lips. "Dinner is almost ready, love" He emphasises the last word purposefully. "Can you call Anna and Matt?" he requests before adding a "honey" knowingly.

Smiling, Sebastian goes back inside the house. A few minutes later, all four people of the family are gathered around the table and eating dinner.

That night, Kurt didn't tell Sebastian about Blaine's call. Although he knew he probably should, he didn't want to bring up another possible fight with his husband; not when they just got over one.

-O-

The next days go by as normal as any other in Kurt and Sebastian's life. They got up in the morning, got ready for work and one would go wake Matthew and Anna while the other made breakfast. After everyone had breakfast, Sebastian's friend and co-worker, James, would ring the bell and Sebastian would leave with him to work – but not before he placed a kiss to each member of the family.

Having to be at his own work later than Sebastian, Kurt would take Matthew to school, and Anna to nursery school before heading to work himself.

Kurt would always get off work early in order to be able to pick up the kids from school before heading back home with them. Although, there were a few exceptions where, when he was truly needed at the office after hours, Kurt would work until later, having someone else pick up the kids and bring them home.

Around 7:15PM Sebastian would walk through the door and into the dining room to find Anna and Matthew sitting in their usual seats at table, while Kurt carried one of the last items from the kitchen. Sometimes, if he was a little early, he would help Kurt with the little that was left to do. If he were to be a little late, Sebastian would call Kurt and tell him to start without him.

The days went by, and the topic of Blaine calling Kurt to set up a meeting date was not brought until that Friday afternoon, when Sebastian walked into his and Kurt's room, early from work, to find Kurt getting dressed and looking at himself in the mirror.

-O-

The anxiety of being closer and closer to seeing Blaine again was eating Kurt alive by the second, even if he did no mention of the subject. He would constantly find himself thinking about what he would say when the day came.

On Thursday night, Kurt went to sleep still mulling these thoughts over.

-O-

_Kurt walks. In fact, he's been walking for what feels like hours now and exhaustion is starting to take over him. He has been following the tiles on the sidewalk that caught his attention so far back the road. There was a piece of paper back there that he bend over to pick up, and upon opening it, it revealed the words "Follow the road" written inside. Confused by it, he looked up from the paper to find that suddenly, under his feet, appeared a sidewalk, which extended as far as his eyes allowed seeing. Looking behind him, he realized there was no sidewalk at all, and this only stretched forwards. He stood on the first tile._

_For some reason, Kurt followed the paper's advice as he took a step forward, and continued, one foot in front of the other, walking on the sidewalk._

_And that is how he finds himself continuing to walk for hours, simply following this pathway._

_Kurt has lost track of time; he knows not if he found the paper seconds, minutes, or hours ago. But he is certain of one thing: the walk has begun to feel infinite long ago, and Kurt is on the verge of giving up and going somewhere else when he realises, looking around, that there is no "somewhere else" to go to. Whatever landscape or scenery there used to be before he found the walkway is no longer there and has now been replaced by mere darkness; there are only the tiles. With no other apparent option, Kurt continues to walk, and not having anything else to see, he decides to stare at the path he is walking._

_To say the least, he is disconcerted when he realises, looking ahead of the supposed road, that there is no tile left to follow next to the one he is currently stepping on._

_Meaning to turn around to face the long way he has walked, he stops when he is faced mid-way with a house. It appears to be his house; his and Sebastian´s. He is about to take a step towards it when, without an apparent reason, he turns around to look the opposite way and finds another house there as well._

_Eyeing around, Kurt notices these are the only two houses, and he continues to stare at the second one. The high wooden door, the white painting, the big windows, those curtains, and those flowers in the front garden; all of these thing are familiar to Kurt. Taking a good look at the house, Kurt realizes where he knows it from. It's their house; his and Blaine's. It's the house he lived at while he was finishing college, and after that when he got his first job. Blaine would go there whenever he came back from wherever he had been sent off to at that time and he would live there with Kurt until further notice of having to go somewhere else. Kurt held on to these days as if for dear life, knowing just how precious they were for both of them._

_This house was clearly smaller than his current one. Being a college student didn't exactly provide many luxuries, and with Blaine being away, getting a place was even harder to do for Kurt; even if he did find the house at an amazingly low prize, Kurt had needed a little help from his father in order to purchase it._

_His thoughts are broken as a piece of paper flutters in front of his eyes. Though confused at first, Kurt grabs the paper, which looks exactly as the one he found earlier. Opening it, he finds the words "Go home" inside. Looking up, Kurt eyes both houses debating to which one he should go to._

_Making up his mind, he walks forward and tries to open the front door, only to find it's locked. Instinctively, yet not sure why, he reaches for his pocket, and Kurt takes out a piece of metal he founds there. Looking at it, it happens to be a key and, without giving it too much of a thought, Kurt places it on the keyhole and turns it, unlocking the door, opening it and stepping inside the house._

_Taking in his surroundings, Kurt continues to walk through the known way to the backyard._

_As he turns around, looking at everything, a voice startles him from behind._

"_Daddy!" A little girl appears running towards him and Kurt can't help the huge smile that comes to his face as his daughter leaps into his arms and he holds her tightly._

_Kurt has never before seen this girl in his life, but somehow knows this is his daughter; he can feel it inside of him. The little girl has dark, curly hair, and hazel brown eyes. Still, it feels right to call her his daughter._

"_Hey! You're home!" Another voice comes from the same direction where the little girl appeared and Blaine comes in. "I couldn't keep her peacefully any longer" He states, pointing at the girl and laughing. Getting closer, he says to Kurt yet looking at the little girl, "Little Sophie here didn't want to wait to see you". By now, Blaine is standing in front of Kurt and is leaning down to kiss him on the lips._

_Kurt leans in to kiss the other man. He isn't Sebastian, and Kurt is very well aware of this; he isn't his husband, and this girl isn't really his daughter. But it still feels right to kiss Blaine; just like it felt right to call Sophie his daughter. But as Kurt leans in to meet the other man's lips, he is surprised to only find air in front of him. Confused, Kurt opens his eyes to see that Blaine is standing, all of a sudden, further away from him. Not only that, but Kurt also realises that Blaine's body is disappearing into thin air, as if the borders of it begun to blur. The weight leaving his arms stops him from urgently saying something and Kurt looks down at the girl he is holding. As if made of sand, her frame was also disappearing._

"_Sophie" Kurt whispers desperately, watching as the girl leaves his arms quickly. Eyeing around, he sees the same is happening to the house itself. Every corner and surface is slowly fading. Looking at Blaine again, he sees the same is still happening to him. "Blaine!" Kurt says more loudly, looking frantically between the man to the little girl, and to the walls, which seemed to mark the time left as everything vanished._

_Before he knew it, Kurt's surroundings were gone completely, except for a circle where he, the little girl and Blaine were standing, which seemed to have slowed down only to give Kurt time to be with Blaine and Sophie._

_Kurt looks down when a small hand presses against his cheek to find the girl smiling at him and before he had time to say anything to her, she was completely gone and Kurt felt dread spreading inside him._

_With tears in his eyes, he turned to Blaine in desperation, only in time to see Blaine smiling at him and saying "I love you, Kurt" before he, too, vanished along with the last remaining of the house's floor. _

-O-

Kurt woke up gasping, sitting up immediately in bed as he tried to catch his breath. A dream. It was only a dream. He was sweaty, but he couldn't bring himself to care, not as he recalled everything he had just dreamt of. He remembered the house perfectly, unlike in the dream, where he found it hard to place where he knew that place from. That and the fact that Blaine was there surprised him. But what really took him aback was the little girl.

Kurt thought back to when he and Blaine discussed their future for one of the first times. Sophie. That had been the name they agreed on naming their daughter if they ever had one. Alex, if they had a boy.

Another thing that threw him off, as he went back on the dream, was the papers he found. Not so much the first one as the second. "Go home", it said.

Kurt looked around the dark room. This was home. Why did he walk to the other house?

Sighing, he set his eyes on the sleeping body next to his. Kurt eyed the clock to see it was 3:25AM. Running a hand through his head, he laid back on his bed, trying to set back the memories of the dream. Soon, he fell into an uncomfortable, dreamless sleep, only to be awakened by the sound of the alarm blasting nearby a few hours later.

Even though he remembered everything about the dream, Kurt covered his concern when he greeted Sebastian for a "Happy Anniversary", and seemed excited instead. The thought of their anniversary made, however, Kurt concentrate on something else besides the dream; if only for small moments at a time.

The day carried normally as any other, and Kurt proceeded not to tell anyone about last night.

They ate, Sebastian left, Kurt dropped Matthew and Anna at school, and he went to work.

Throughout the day, he couldn't take the memories from his head. No matter how hard he tried to concentrate on something different, he would always come back to the dream somehow.

Giving up, he let the thoughts take over him.

It is needless to say that Friday was not a successful day at work for Kurt Hummel. His head was elsewhere in most conversations he had, and he excused himself by saying he "didn't have a good night of sleep" and that it was affecting him.

The day seemed to drag by. The minutes seemed like hours and they became longer the more he mulled over and took in everything he had visualized the night before.

-O-

Justifying himself of not feeling very well – "Yes, you do look a little pale and off today… Are you sure you're okay?" He had been asked by his boss, to which he answered with a simple "yeah, I just need some rest" – and being allowed permission to leave earlier from work, Kurt made it home before noon.

Being home didn't, however, seem to change the situation. It was driving him mad not being able to focus on something else other than that.

Finally giving in on what he had been debating with himself for the last few hours, Kurt grabbed the phone and marked the number he wrote on paper and waited as the line ringed. The moment there was an answer, he let out a breath of relief he didn't know he was holding before talking.

"Hi Blaine. It's me, Kurt. I was wondering… do you think we can move tomorrow's meeting to today?"

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**A/N: "I'll try to update every Sunday" my ass. I'm sorry if you believed that somewhat promise I made a while back.**

**Again, I am sorry for taking so long. But, if it makes you feel any better, it is 8:15am as I'm writing this A/N and I haven't slept all night. :D **

**I will try to update the next chapter soon since it is basically ready… I just need to check for mistakes or whatever…**

**Thank you everyone for the story alerts! They mean a lot to me!**

**Also yes. the story has been officially changed to Kurtbastian now...**


	10. Never can say goodbye

**N/A: I won't even bother with the apologies… I don't know why I haven't updated this chapter yet… it sort of kept slipping my mind, I really don't know.**

**But anyway, here is chapter 10.**

**Disclaimers: I do not own Glee, its characters or anything related to it.**

* * *

**Chapter 10:**

Sebastian came home early from work that Friday afternoon at 4PM, and he was surprised to enter his room to find Kurt standing in front of the mirror, staring at his reflection and straightening his clothes.

"Hey" Sebastian announced as he walked forward, seeing that Kurt hadn't noticed him go in.

"Hey!" Kurt greeted Sebastian back, smiling at him through the mirror before turning around and giving him a hug. "Happy anniversary!"

"Happy anniversary to you too. I was hoping to surprise you when you came from work. What are you doing home so early?" Sebastian asked as he leaned in for a kiss.

"I wasn't feeling very well and they gave me permission to come home before noon. I called Jess, by the way." Kurt said before Sebastian could question him on why he wasn't feeling well in the first place. If he did, Kurt would have to tell him about the dream, and he was not planning on doing that.

He run by the call he earlier gave to Jessica, their neighbour, who had two children of nearly the same age as Matthew and Anna. Kurt had called her to ask her if she could pick up the kids from school, seeing as Jessica had to go pick her own too and Kurt had called Blaine to meet earlier. "She told me that they could stay at her house until tomorrow if they wanted to. I think it is needless to say that both Matt and Anna were super excited and accepted the invitation without hesitation whatsoever. She's probably on her way here; she's going to pass by to get the kids' stuff." Kurt finished explaining with a chuckle, which Sebastian returned.

"Why are you getting all dressed up so early?" Sebastian asked as Kurt turned back around and continued to check his clothes on the mirror.

Taking a big breath, Kurt looked at Sebastian through the reflexion in the mirror. He couldn't lie to him about where he was going. "I called Blaine" Kurt said slowly before turning to look at the other man properly and elaborating his answer. "He uhm… I'm going to meet him for coffee in an hour or so".

Sebastian felt a sting of jealousy, mixed with hurt and anger, but he let none of it show. Instead, he took a deep breath and remained silent, looking at the floor before matching Kurt's gaze. "Tonight's our anniversary dinner…" The taller man left the statement in the air, not adding anything to it, as if reminding Kurt of the event.

"I know, honey…" Kurt walked forward and grabbed Sebastian's hands in his when he saw pain in his husband's eyes. Even if he tried to hide it, Kurt knew it was there. "I'll be there, okay?" He assured. "I'll be there, it's just…" Kurt didn't know how to justify going to meet Blaine. He simply needed to go, because he needed to see him.

Nodding, Sebastian gives an indifferent, "Yeah, okay", and takes his hands back.

"Seb…" Kurt utters at Sebastian's clear state of disappointment and upset.

"No, it's okay. And plus, I have some work I still need to do. I was going to go to my office and get as much as I can done anyway, so it's no problem, really". Kurt frowns because he is not convinced; and neither is the other man of the idea of Kurt going out with Blaine.

"Look, I bet Jessica must be about to arrive, I'll go get everything ready for Anna and Matt, okay?" Sebastian breaks the silence that had fallen between the two for a few seconds, and he kisses Kurt quickly before starting to walk away.

"Okay" Kurt says but the other man is already halfway through the door.

The man sighs as he stands, now alone in his room, feeling guilty for having to leave Sebastian feeling clearly distressed.

-o-

Kurt was looking through the latest magazine which he bought on his way home from work as an attempt to clear his mind, but seeming that it hadn't worked then, he was reading it now instead. Sebastian walked in.

Putting the magazine down, Kurt looked at the other man as he said, "Hey, I forgot I had to go pick something up for work this afternoon, so I'm gonna go now and then come back home."

"Right now?" Kurt frowned.

"Yeah" Sebastian answered shortly as he took his coat and put it on.

"Oh, okay" For some reason Kurt didn't feel right about this, but he couldn't exactly blame Sebastian for not wanting to be there right now.

"Do you need a lift?" Sebastian asked, giving his back to Kurt as he went to pick his keys from the little hanger set on the door.

"Uhm, no, don't worry, I think I'd rather walk there" Kurt refused, thinking Sebastian needed some time alone.

With a nonchalant "Okay" and "I'll meet you at the restaurant later" from the man and a hum in agreement from Kurt, Sebastian was out of the house and the engine of the car could be heard being turned on.

Grabbing his own coat and keys, Kurt was out the house, walking to the coffee place to meet Blaine.

-O-

"I'll have a latte" Blaine tells the waitress.

"And I'll have a cappuccino" Kurt adds.

"I'll be right back with your orders. If you need anything else, please be sure to tell me." The girl walks back to place the order on the counter.

They were in a different café than the one they went to the night Blaine came back. This one had a more vintage style and yet it managed to be modern at the same time. It was also closer to home than the 50's-themed one.

Neither of them wanted to begin the conversation, only to be interrupted by the server bringing their coffees, so both made small talk about how they've been these past few days. Kurt still has trouble believing that Blaine is here right now, talking to him; still has trouble believing Blaine is alive altogether. He is still expecting – and dreading - for him to wake up in his bed only to realise that this all has been a dream.

Before they realize, the waitress is back with their order and both men offer a smile to her as a 'thank you' before she walks back to serve another table.

"You know…" Blaine starts, as both of them add sugar to their coffees and stir. "I never quite learned about you, really…"

"What do you mean?" Kurt asks, taking a sip from his drink, frowning in confusion.

"I don't really know about _you_." When he sees Kurt still doesn't understand what he means, he adds, "Now, I mean… About you _now_… about… your life now… about your kids…" He looks down at his coffee and leaves the phrase hanging in the air, although it sounds more like a question rather than a statement.

Kurt is surprised that Blaine would want to know about his life now for some reason, and has problem trying to decide how and what to answer Blaine.

"Well, uhm…" He starts, faltering. "Matt – Matthew, actually – is the older, he is nine." Kurt could practically see Blaine's brain working on trying to figure out how the boy could have more years than the ones he was gone, so Kurt explains further. "We adopted him when he was seven and when Anna was two. Anna, we had her with a surrogate."

Blaine was trying to keep the tears in. Seeing that Kurt had moved on so far – and so _fast_ - with Sebastian broke his heart, but Blaine would not let it show. "_Kurt you have to promise me" he said to Kurt before he left._ And he was not going to make him feel bad for keeping that promise.

Noticing how overwhelmed Blaine was by what he just told, Kurt added, "I know it seems like Anna and Matt came early into our relationship but, I don't know… we both felt like we were ready…" It was true. Sebastian and Kurt were engaged and married within the year and a half they were together, and almost immediately both men decided on having children. It did seem a little rushed, but it had worked for them.

"Anna…" Blaine stated, thoughtfully, and putting aside the topic of Kurt and Sebastian's relationship. "It's a lovely name…"

"Yeah, we couldn't figure out a name for her… Not even on the very same day she was born. We were in the hospital, and she was still nameless." Kurt says with a light chuckle. "After she was born, we just looked at her and the name sort of… came to us… and we loved it." Kurt explained with a smile constant on his face due to the memory. Blaine was aware of his expression.

"I thought you'd always liked the name Sophie" Blaine says – although it again sounds like a question – after a few seconds of silence. He regrets saying this as the smile on Kurt's face quickly falls and a sad expression takes over his face.

"That was the name we were going to name our daughter if we ever had one…" Kurt says as flashbacks of his dream come to him and tears start to form in his eyes. "I couldn't name her- not… not after- after you-" He can't finish the sentence and Blaine understands.

Suddenly, Kurt has the urge to tell Blaine about his dream; so he does. It would be stupid to tell him the entire event, he reasons. But he needs to get it off his chest.

"You know, I had a dream the other night…" He starts.

Kurt tells him about the path, and that he found his – their – old home, and how, when he walked in, he found a little girl. He is sure to describe every detail about her he can remember to Blaine. Kurt proceeds to tell how Blaine came in afterwards. He doesn't mention the little paper with "Go home" written on it before he entered the house. Neither does Kurt mention of his current home being there as well, and him having to make the decision of which house to choose. Kurt doesn't tell Blaine about how his dream turned into a nightmare when Sophie, Blaine and everything in the house started to disappear; instead, he lied and said that after Blaine walked in, they simply talked until Kurt woke up by his alarm clock going off, leaving the 'dream' unfinished.

Kurt feels like a huge weight has been lifted from his chest. He had wanted to tell someone about the dream since he had it, but he couldn't bring himself to say a word about it to Sebastian, or any other person. Being able to share it with Blaine, specifically, is a relief for him; even as he regrets it when he notices Blaine's sad expression.

"Kurt…" Blaine says softly. Clearly this dream had affected Kurt, bringing back memories he probably doesn't want any more now that he has a new life.

"She was just like you, Blaine." Kurt says, ignoring Blaine. As a silence falls between the two of them, Kurt decides to change the topic. With a deep breath, he continues. "Matt was old enough to understand that he isn't biologically our son, but he has never made mention of it either…"

It probably isn't a good topic to change to, Kurt assumes. But after this, the atmosphere between them is lighter, as they both resume making small talk about whatever they can think of that it isn't a topic that would make them feel uncomfortable again. Mostly, they talk about past memories that they both laugh at as they remember them.

-O-

Conversation flows freely now, and before either knows it, hours have passed and they are still sitting in the cozy café, even as the sun is setting and the the first cup of coffee.

They ask for the bill and pay for their orders – this time Kurt refusing to let the other pay – after they agree that neither wants anything else. Still, they stay seated while they finish their last sips of coffee left in their mugs. When there seems to be no memories left to recall, both men settle into a silence with smiles on their faces and Kurt chances to look at Blaine while he is looking at his own mug of coffee, rubbing the handle lightly with his index finger, seeming lost in thought.

"Why did you call me?" Kurt thinks out loud.

"Huh?" Blaine looks up at Kurt caught off guard by the question. "What do you mean?" He asks, with a frown on his face.

"Why did you call me to meet with you?" It sounds a little harsher that he intended to, and when Blaine looks slightly hurt, Kurt is quickly to add, "It's not that I didn't want to meet with you… I mean… it's just that when we talked, you just seemed… it seemed as if whatever you needed to tell me was… important. I don't suppose you just wanted to chat?" Kurt looks expectantly at Blaine, waiting for an answer.

Blaine sighs and lets his head hang forward for a second before recomposing his posture. When he looks into Kurt's eyes it reminds him exactly why he was trying to avoid talking about this with Kurt. He could see in his eyes the worry of what Blaine was about to say.

When Kurt sees Blaine frown and inhaling deeply to start talking, he copies his actions, trying to prepare himself for whatever news Blaine is about to give him.

"Look, Kurt" He begins, insecure. "I'm gonna be honest here… I-" He stops to consider how to continue. It takes him a few seconds – in which Kurt unaware holds his breath – before he is able to carry on. "I- I enjoyed so much this past week… seeing you again after so long was amazing… but-" The tears making Kurt's eyes shine make it impossible for Blaine to hold his gaze, so he looks down for a moment to recover strength to continue. "But I- I think it is better if… if we don't see each other anymore…" Kurt let out a painful sigh and began to shake his head. "I think that, with Sebastian and everything, it isn't a good idea…" Blaine finishes, Kurt's hurt expression hurting him too.

Kurt stays in his seat, frozen, unable to find a proper reaction to what is happening.

Suddenly, he is no longer sitting in the café, but he is back in his old house, sitting on a random chair – the closest to reach he had found at the moment – with a yellow letter in hand, reading the words that had changed his life forever. The message in the letter had taken a while to sink in, but when it did, and Kurt understood fully what had happened, he couldn't do anything other than cry. The meaning of the letter was slowly sinking in, as Kurt thought it over and over: Blaine was gone.

A voice and a light touch to his shoulder bring him back to the present. Looking around, Kurt realizes he is back in the coffee shop and Blaine is standing next to their table, putting his coat on. _"I'm sorry."_ He had said before standing up; Kurt's subconscious part was aware of this while he was lost in the memory of his past.

Still not able to react, Kurt stays seated while Blaine looks at him painfully, tears visible in his own eyes, and begins to walk towards the exit.

Part of Kurt's mind is screaming at him to get up and go after Blaine. But the loudest part of his mind is replaying what it felt like to receive that letter, and Kurt realizes just how similar the situations are. When his flashback was interrupted by Blaine, Kurt wondered for a small second why he had even gone back to that day and that moment. But now he knows why. Blaine is gone. Again.

Tears are falling freely down his face before he is even aware of this. The sense of déjà vu is so overwhelming that it only manages to bring more tears to his eyes.

Kurt has no control on his body. He doesn't realize he has stood up from his chair, grabbed his coat and started walking until he is out of the café and looking for Blaine.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you guys for reading this! I'll try to finish my English homework and get right on with chapter 11 if I can.**

**Also, I know this chapter is really short compared to the last ones but I felt like leaving it here and completing the conclusion to this in the next one...**

**Thank you for the story alerts! They mean everything to me :)**


	11. I can't live with or without you

**A/N: *comes out from hiding for 2 months* I am so sorry! I wrote this in Spanish class :D (yay productivity)**

**Disclaimers: I do not own Glee or anything related to the show.**

**Without further much ado: Here is Chapter 11:**

* * *

**Chapter 11:**

After looking frantically in every direction, vision blurred with tears, Kurt sees Blaine in the park that is in front of the café.

With not enough control over his own body to run after Blaine yet, Kurt yells desperately – the only thing he can manage to do.

"Why are you doing this?!" He shouts across the street, voice breaking, not caring if there is anyone on there that could witness this.

Blaine knows he should ignore Kurt and keep walking but for some reason he turns around to see Kurt approaching him fast – almost jogging - not looking if any cars come before crossing the road. Fortunately, no one seems to be out today but them. Blaine doesn't move as he watches him.

Kurt comes closer to Blaine, only a few feet of separation between them, and this close, Blaine can see that Kurt has an angry expression on his face and that tears threaten to fall from his eyes.

"Why are you doing this?" He repeats.

"Kurt-" Blaine makes an attempt to answer – though he is not exactly sure how or what he would say – but Kurt interrupts him before he gets the change.

"You know, you are so selfish!" Kurt begins to yell again. He doesn't bother to keep the angry tears from falling, and lets them roll down his cheeks freely.

"What?" Blaine asks in confusion, looking around for anyone who might have casually been there to hear all the yelling. Again, he founds that nobody seems to be there.

"Yes! How dare you?!" Kurt shouts at him, pointing him with his index finger before letting his hand fall back besides him. "How _dare you_ walking back into my life, to make me believe that you are _finally_, after I _begged-_" Kurt chokes on his last word, so he swallows hard in order to continue as Blaine looks at him with a hurt expression. "-after I begged for _so long_ for a miracle to happen that would make you_ somehow_ come back… after all I've been through…" He chokes again on his words, but he is not willing to let this go; he is going to speak up. "…how _dare you_ come back only to walk out on me again?"

Blaine can see the pain in Kurt's eyes, and he can feel it himself. It wasn't easy saying what he said in the café, but he needed to do it. For himself; for Kurt.

"Kurt…" He tried to reason with the taller man.

"NO!" Kurt shrieked as a sob fell from his mouth. "You-" He willed his body to continue, voice broken and weak; he didn't have any strength left to continue to scream. "You _can't_-" The man's voice breaks at the second word, but he continues. "You can't leave me Blaine…"

"Kurt… I told you-"

"And I heard you!" Kurt interrupts, shouting with the last energy his voice is willing to give. "But Blaine, don't do this, please." Taking a deep breath, Kurt confesses what he has been afraid to admit since the night he saw Blaine again. "You left me once… please don't leave me again." He begs.

Each word feels like a cold dagger to Blaine's heart. The confession was killing him, and as much as he wanted to embrace the broken man crying in front of him, and tell him that everything will be fine, he had to force himself to stay where he stood. For himself; for Kurt.

"I just don't want to create any more trouble between you and Sebastian, Kurt" Blaine said, his own eyes moist from tears.

"You're not!" Kurt lied, shaking his head, desperately to convince Blaine not to go. "You're not…" He repeated, more calmly. "Just don't leave me, please…"

Kurt's legs are weak from the overwhelming moment, and before he takes recognition of it, his knees give up on him and he is falling forward. If it weren't for Blaine reacting immediately, and catching him, Kurt would have fallen to the floor.

In Blaine's arms, Kurt holds onto the other man's shirt as if his life depended on it, his body shaking from the sobs he is unable to keep in.

Blaine holds Kurt just as strongly as the man cries against his chest. The sight truly breaks him. He hadn't ever meant to make Kurt feel like this. The sounds of the sobs that break through the silence of the park break his heart.

He knows he shouldn't say the words he is about to say, but the need to reassure Kurt is stronger than anything else he might feel now, or regret later.

"Shh" Blaine comforts, "Shh… okay… I won't leave…" He rubs Kurt's back. "Shh… I won't leave…" He repeats and tilts his head back, forcing the tears back before lowering his head again and placing a kiss to Kurt's temple.

They stand where they are, Kurt in Blaine's arms, for several minutes, until Kurt's tears have subsided and their breathings return to normal.

"I won't leave" he promises one last time in a whisper. Not for himself; for Kurt.

-O-

After both of them wipe off their tears, Blaine invites Kurt over to his hotel room to keep talking, where they can be more comfortable than standing in the cold air.

"You told me you had a place to stay…" Kurt says as Blaine closes the door to his hotel room after they walked inside.

"Yeah well… I didn't want to trouble you" Blaine shrugs. "And it would have been awkward…" he shifts on his feet.

Before there is a chance for their silence to become uncomfortable, Kurt changes the topic, and they continue to talk about everything and nothing.

They talk about their past, remembering old days. The past they discuss isn't shorter than nine years before today, as neither want to talk about what happened after that.

Before they know it, they are lying in bed, laughing and continuing to talk as time flows by, neither taking account of it.

When hours have passed - long after the sun has gone down, and the stars have come out - Kurt gets up, surprised that he has spent so much time with Blaine already. He apologises for having to leave and he says goodnight –_not goodbye; never goodbye_, He thinks to himself-, promising to stay in touch with Blaine.

Blaine accompanies him to the door of his room. There, Kurt turns around to say one last goodnight to Blaine, and – with a little hesitation – he throws his arms around his neck to embrace him in a strong hug, still too afraid that Blaine's words earlier might have been true.

Sensing this, Blaine reassures Kurt by returning the hug and whispering, "I'm not going anywhere, Kurt… I promise…"

Accepting this, Kurt takes a deep breath and lets go of Blaine and walks down the hall, and out of the hotel to call a taxi to take him home.

At the same time, Blaine sighs, leaning on his now-closed door. After a few minutes he, reluctant to his tired body, pushes off the door and makes his way to his bed, flopping on it and mulling over the events of today.

-O-

Sebastian sighs, looking down at his watch for what feels like the hundredth time. He looks around the place once more, his fingers tapping quickly on the border of the table. The plate in front of him is relatively uneaten and the wine bottle is three quarters empty. The pay check for the meal lies next to his plate. Leaning back on his chair, he runs a hand through his hair and looks at his watch one more time.

Sighing again, he gets up, throwing the napkin that was lying on his thigh on top of the table, grabbing the pay check and leaving the restaurant before getting into his car and driving back to his house.

-O-

Kurt opens the door to his house close to 10:30PM with a smile still on his face due to his evening with Blaine. Deciding that everyone was probably already sleeping – considering that most of the lights downstairs were off – he heads straight to his room, trying to make as little noise as possible in order to not wake anyone up.

When he reaches his bedroom, he slowly turns the knob over and pushes the door open, trying not to make it creak. He doesn't turn on the light as he walks inside, closing the door, and facing it while he takes off his coat at hangs it on the coat rack.

Kurt turns to go towards his bed and nearly jumps up a foot in the air when he sees Sebastian seated on their bed.

"Jesus Christ! You scared the crap out of me!" Kurt exclaims, clutching his chest with his hand and letting out a small chuckle.

Sebastian stays quiet, looking at the floor, not raising his eyes and Kurt gives him a slightly confused look. Now he knows Sebastian is awake, we walks back a step to turn on the light and turns to face Sebastian again, who is in the same position as before. Under the light Kurt realizes Sebastian is wearing dark suit pants along with a light blue button-down shirt (first and second button undone) and a loose tie around his neck.

"What's with the suit?" He asks with another chuckle as he begins to take his shoes off and putting them aside.

When he turns around, he sees Sebastian looking at him. His eyes are mostly red and quite puffy. He is looking at Kurt with a hurt expression on his face, which makes Kurt frown in preoccupation. Sebastian is not talking to him, only staring at him.

"What is it?" Kurt asks concerned, looking at him.

There is a small pause where Sebastian continues looking into his eyes before returning his gaze to the floor and he utters softly, "You forgot…"

"What?" Kurt's frown deepens further. "What are you talking about?"

The man seating on the bed stands up suddenly, letting out a huff and begins walking towards the door. Just as he is about to reach it, he lets out a very sarcastic, harsh and cold, "Happy anniversary, Kurt".

Kurt's eyes widen almost comically – if not for the gravity of the moment - and he rushes to apologise, "Oh my god, Seb! I am _so_ sorry! I-I'm so, so-" He stops without breath.

Sebastian stops in his tracks upon hearing Kurt and turns around to look at him, about to say something – ready to yell at him for everything that he has been feeling; he is ready to unbosom out on him with his opinions. But he doesn't. Instead, he closes his mouth, shakes his head and lets out a weak and broken, "Just forget about it…" before turning back around, going for the door.

"No, Seb, wait!" Kurt exclaims, grabbing Sebastian's arms and forcing him to turn around, but the man doesn't look at him, he continues to stare at the floor.

"I'll make it up for you!" Kurt says, desperate, and when he gets no answer whatsoever, he adds, "Seb, please… I am so sorry". His eyes are moist and he feels frantic to make Sebastian forgive him. Kurt puts both hands on either side of Sebastian's face, forcing gently his head back up to look at him, but Sebastian keeps his gaze lowered. "We'll go out tomorrow!" Kurt suggests. When Kurt lowers to kiss his lips, Sebastian remains still and doesn't kiss back and Kurt's heart breaks. "Seb…" he whispers, leaning his forehead against Sebastian's, tears ready to fall.

Sebastian sniffs and Kurt is filled with guilt and remorse for making him cry. When he tries to kiss his lips again, Sebastian flinches and turns his head away from Kurt. Kurt grabs his shoulders as he continues to apologise.

"Seb, _please._" He begs. "I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking!" He tries to explain. "Time flew by and- and I- Then we- I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" He stumbles over his own words, trying to make him understand.

When Sebastian breaks out of Kurt's hold harshly, Kurt flinches in surprise. Sebastian was never aggressive, in any sort of way. Sure, they had had their fair amount of fights, but what couple didn't, right? But no matter what they fought about, Sebastian was never aggressive towards Kurt. Yet here he was now, yelling, face red with anger.

"Didn't mean to what?! Forget about our _anniversary dinner?!_" He scoffed and stared at Kurt with disbelief. Before he could apologise again, Sebastian yelled again, "If I remember correctly, _you_ were the one that got mad at me last year when I got to the restaurant _fifteen minutes late!_ And it was because I stopped to buy you flowers! And now you just- just- _forget about it?!". _When he finished he was breathing fast.

"I know, baby…" Kurt said calmly, trying to calm Sebastian down as well in the process. "I know, I understand, I just-" He moved forwards, making a go at grabbing Sebastian's hand, but Sebastian flinched and moved away. "Please don't do this… I'm so-" he chokes on his last word.

Sebastian was tired. Tired of Kurt apologising; tired of the whole situation. Running a hand through his hair, he started screaming again. "You know, I waited for you!" Sebastian pointed a finger in Kurt's direction, at which Kurt winced. "I went into the restaurant and I waited for you like an idiot, Kurt! I sat down and waited for hours – _hours_, Kurt – and you never showed up! I just-" He stopped and sighed, not able to carry on.

"Seb, _please_" Kurt repeated for what felt like the hundredth time. "I really am sorry-"

"Stop saying that you're sorry, Kurt!" Sebastian cried, furious.

"Seb, just- just calm down, ok?" Kurt said, voice low, still trying to sooth Sebastian. "You'll wake the kids, just-" He tried to reason, but Sebastian was having none of it and interrupted him.

"And what?! What about it, Kurt?! You really think they don't know what the hell is going on?!" He asked exasperated. When Kurt gave him a confused look, he kept going, running a hand through his hair. "What? You really think that our kids are oblivious to what is happening? You think they don't know what is going on?" His outburst was met with silent, to which he sighed and continued. "Did you know… that your _four year old_ daughter asked me if you were gonna come back that night you left?"

At that, Kurt's face flashed with astonishment, his eyes going wide. "I-I-" He couldn't form eloquent phrases.

"Matt asked me the very same thing, you know…" Sebastian added. He knew he was probably being too harsh on him, but he couldn't hold it in any longer. "And he asked me about Blaine and you know what? I couldn't even give him a proper answer because not even _I_ know what is going on Kurt!"

Kurt's expression didn't change and he stares at Sebastian as he stammers out: "We… We can talk about it-just-please!" He pleaded.

Sebastian shakes his head. "They asked me if you were going to leave…" Sebastian ignored Kurt. "Leave me…" He took a deep breath trying to regain his posture. "Leave them?"

"I-I- _Please, Seb_" Kurt begged to the other man, trying to find words in which he could express how he feels, but he finds none.

"But don't worry, Kurt…" The taller man continues. "It wasn't important after all…" He said in a cold tone, which he would be sorry for using against Kurt if it weren't for the given circumstances. "_I'm _not important after all… right?" He concludes, tears stinging his eyes promising to fall. But he wouldn't let them; not yet.

"Seb, please, I'm sorry" Kurt repeated for what seemed to be the hundredth time. Even he was tired of hearing himself saying that, but there was really nothing else he could think he could say to Sebastian that would in any way fix what happened. He expected Sebastian to continue the quarrel and carry on screaming at him. But whatever he expected, he was not prepared for Sebastian's next words.

"Yeah, well me too" He said, voice broken and weak, sounding defeated.

"What- what do you mean?" Kurt asks faintly, dreading the answer.

"I'm sorry we even tried, Kurt…" Sebastian says before he has the chance to take it back; take everything back. A single tear escapes.

"No" Kurt chokes. "No, you don't mean that…" A sob breaks through.

Sniffing, Sebastian turns and begins going in the direction of the door.

"Seb-" Kurt tries, lifting his hand to stop Sebastian, but the man was too far of reach. "Seb!" He repeats, desperate to fix this. "Be mad at me, fine! Be mad at me, but please… _please_ don't say you regret this…" He begs, not able to think that Sebastian would regret everything they have been through. Sebastian being mad at him, he could handle; but not this.

Sebastian ignores him, sniffing as he walks out of the room.

Kurt was left looking at the open doorway. Giving a full twist where he is standing, he pulls at his hair, frustrated, tears still falling down his cheeks.

_How could everything have gone so wrong in one day only? _He wondered, as he dropped to the floor, crying.

He stays like that for minutes, which would soon turn to hours and he would then be rising from the floor, still sniffing, legs sore from the position he had been in for the past hours. He would drag himself to bed, not caring of the clothing he was wearing, and would flop face-down on the bed, falling immediately into a deep slumber, after sharing one last tear.

-o-

Sebastian walked out of the room, and leaned on the wall next to the doorway. Only then, he allowed himself to break down and began crying. He brought a hand to his mouth, stopping his sobs from escaping.

He could hear Kurt's cries as well, which only made it worse. He took ten whole minutes before he decided he couldn't take it anymore and stood up, legs shaking and vision blurred, walking to the living room. He lied down on the couch, continuing crying and he fell asleep that way.

He would wake up just before dawn and leave the house, before Kurt even had the chance to wake up fully and find him there.

* * *

**A/N: I finally finished this! :)**

**Thank you all so much for the reviews/follows/favourites! They mean everything to me!**

**If you have stuck this long: thank you so much! I can't even begin to explain how happy I am :)**

**Now, I'm being showered with homework, so I might not have a lot of time, but I will TRY to get it done ASAP and out of the way so I can continue this.**

**IMPORTANT NEWS: I must tell everyone that this story is currently getting to an end. Maybe 2 or 3 more chapters and that's it, so if you have stuck this long, again, THANK YOU SO MUCH 3**


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